


The Time Has Come at Last

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 06:10:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13358163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: Post Endgame. Kathryn and Chakotay, after being estranged for a year, come together again as the command team on a cadet training cruise. An enemy from Chakotay’s past almost destroys both their lives, but with Kathryn’s tenacity and the help of four feisty cadets… the good guys prevail.





	The Time Has Come at Last

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday story for Audabee (2008). Happy Birthday, old china and may there be many more.

Admiral Janeway sat alone in the Academy commissary, sipping her coffee slowly as she marked the latest papers from her Temporal Mechanics class. She frowned. Cadet Holden’s analysis made absolutely no sense and shaking her head she made a note to organise a meeting with the young man, as soon as possible. He’d obviously misinterpreted the data and gone completely off topic. If she was feeling generous she might consider giving him a chance to redeem himself. She’d wait and see.

Placing the padd to one side, she looked around her and took another sip of her coffee. It was lunchtime and the room was filled with cadets and tutors and the rumbling hubbub was giving her another headache. They came with unsettling frequency these days. She knew why, but refused to let them dictate her life. Stress was a constant and familiar companion and hardly a new phenomenon. With a small grunt of irritation she pushed the pain aside and took another sip of her coffee.

Snippets of conversations drifted past but she paid them little mind. Most of the talk was puerile adolescent ramblings and vacuous chatter. Neither of which interested her.

Kathryn pulled the next padd from the stack and began scrolling through the introduction. Cadet Myers. ‘Well,’ she thought, ‘let’s hope he’s put in more of an effort than the last two cadets.’ Sometimes she wondered whether her students slept though her lectures, but sadly she didn’t really care. With that slightly disturbing thought, she placed the padd on the table and, resting her chin on her hand, she stared out the window.

Teaching at the academy had seemed like a reasonable option at the time. It had, in fact, been the only option. The Admiralty had denied her request for another command and they’d offered her, as an alternative, a bureaucratic position on Ennan VI. She huffed out a bitter laugh as she was reminded of their pathetic attempt at manipulation. They knew very well that she wouldn’t take a posting away from Earth. She’d been gone long enough, so the only thing left for her was to take the Academy chair.

Kathryn was aware that she’d been outmanoeuvred but had decided to make the best of it.

It wasn’t so bad. She was within easy transport range of her mother and sister, and she enjoyed the students. There was a great deal of satisfaction to be gained by passing on her years of experience and knowledge to these eager young minds. However as time passed she was finding it more and more difficult to rally enthusiasm for the work and she was well aware of the reason. Depression was looming. The signs were all there – the mind numbing ennui, her inability to sleep, her short temper and intolerance. They were all classic signs.

She was suffering from a major case of the ‘don’t cares’ that was fast deteriorating. She knew she had to snap herself out of it and she would. She was determined to do so and when Kathryn Janeway made up her mind… watch out. Her mouth twitched and she took deep breath.

Sitting up straight and taking another hearty mouthful of coffee, she picked up Cadet Myer’s analysis and began to read.

The scrape of chairs directly behind her distracted her momentarily. Two third year cadets placed their trays noisily on the table and began to chatter. Kathryn tried to ignore them, but it wasn’t easy.

“Annie, have you seen the new Advanced Tactics professor? Oh, be still my beating heart.”

“Oh God, yes. Isn’t he gorgeous? But don’t you think he’s little on the mature side for you, Sal?”

“Hey, he can’t be that old if he’s still that good looking. Anyway, I’m just window shopping. I don’t think Alexi would be too thrilled if he knew I had the hots for one of my professors. Even a famous one, like him.”

“Someone said he’s been off planet ever since Voyager got back.”

Kathryn’s head snapped up and she listened carefully.

“Yeah, V’noth said something about an archaeology expedition or something. I suppose we’ll find out soon enough. I have A.T. this afternoon.”

“Well, he can park himself in my Delta quadrant any day.”

“Sally!? That’s terrible.”

“Well, don’t you think so too? That gorgeous dark hair with the streaks of grey, and that smile and tattoo. Hmmm, just as sexy as…..”

Kathryn was sitting rigid in her seat, and so preoccupied with her eavesdropping that her coffee cup slipped from her fingers and spilled all over Cadet Myers report.

She muttered. “Shit.” And began mopping up the spill while still listening to the cadets.

“Oh well, we can dream. The word is he’s spoken for.”

Kathryn stilled again and her heart missed a beat. _‘Spoken for.’_ Well, it was hardly surprising. What did she expect? She hadn’t spoken to him in nearly a year. It wasn’t as if he was going to wait around for her. He’d already done that for almost seven years and she’d never given him any indication of her feelings. Even after Voyager was home and his fling with Seven was over, she’d kept her distance. The years of sublimating her emotions had left a bitter legacy and it had taken her months to tap into her feelings again. Their reawakening had been a painful experience, but, in the end, it had been too late for her and Chakotay.

God damn it. She shook Cadet Myer’s padd trying to dislodge as much of the coffee as she could. Padds were relatively indestructible, but not entirely so, and the corrosive power of her coffee was legendary.

The cadets were still chatting but Kathryn wasn’t listening anymore. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Chakotay and the fact that he was with someone else and how she would react when she eventually ran into him and his ‘significant other’.

A squeal from one of the girls brought her attention back to their conversation. “Oooo. There he is, there he is. Don’t look now, but Professor Tattoo is on his way over.”

“Oh my God, pretend you’re not staring. Is he still coming?”

“Yes, but… I don’t think he’s heading towards us.”

Kathryn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He was here and on his way over to her. She could feel the young cadets’ eyes on the back of her head as she pretended to concentrate on Myer’s coffee soaked padd.

She could still hear the whispers from the girls behind her, and then felt his presence.

“Kathryn?”

She looked up and feigned surprise. “Chakotay! My goodness. How are you? It’s been ages.”

He stared at her for a long moment with those achingly familiar eyes that were filled with warmth and kindness. Kathryn’s heart constricted in her chest and she couldn’t swallow or breathe properly. He looked the same, only better and the expression on his face was ….. Oh God, she couldn’t even think. Much to her dismay, her eyes began to fill with tears.

Damn it, she was going to cry! In the middle of the commissary, at the height of the lunch rush, she was going to cry.

In a panic, she swept as many of the padds as she could into her bag, and grabbing the rest she jumped up. Her eyes darted away from his stare and searched frantically for the exit.

“I have to…… Chakotay… I… I can’t.” And almost at a run, she left him standing there, staring after her.

She didn’t look back and, even though she should have, she didn’t care what anyone thought. Her only thought was to get out of there.

Biting back the tears, she berated herself. This was what happened when you left matters unresolved. Her mother and sister had been pushing her to do something about herself, Tom and B’Elanna had dropped a few hints and the Doctor had been downright blunt about her need to come to terms with the seven year journey and her return. She’d been stubborn, as usual, and look where it had landed her.

Kathryn was still scurrying across the lawns of the academy when half a dozen of the padds slipped from her grasp and hit the ground. She just stood and stared at them. What the hell was she doing? This was so unlike her. She had to get this under control. Taking a deep breath she rearranged the remaining padds in her arms, and dropping her bag she knelt down to pick them up.

A bronze hand moved into her line of sight. “Let me help, Kathryn.”

She should have known he’d follow her. Her hand stilled on the fallen padds and her head dropped forward. She spoke in a strained whisper. “Thank you, Chakotay. I think I need it.”

He placed his hand over hers on one of the padds and lifted it. His other hand took the padd, but he kept her hand held tightly in his. “It’s good to see you, Kathryn.”

She looked up at him and she could feel the tears stinging again. The tightness in her throat kept her silent but she gave his hand a quick squeeze instead. He smiled and she shifted her gaze to their joined hands before pulling her hand away slowly and gathering the last of the padds. He leaned over and picked up her bag as she stood.

She opened her arms to take the padds from him, but he shook his head and smiled. “I’ve got these. You lead the way.”

She blinked. Her inner self screamed. No. No more leading. Her vision blurred and shaking her head, she husked out a whispered. “No.”

He frowned. “Kathryn?”

She was a wreck and she hated herself for it. Seeing him again had opened all the old wounds but, for the first time in years, she said exactly what was in her heart. “I can’t. I’m so tired of leading. I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

He smiled again and gently touched her shoulder. “That’s fine, Kathryn. I understand and we’ll talk about that later, but you’re going to have to lead this one last time.”

She gave him a pained look.

His smile broadened and she was dazzled by dimples and white teeth. “You have to lead, Kathryn, because I don’t know the way to your office.”

It took her a couple of heartbeats to comprehend what he’d said and then, as it dawned, her heart lightened and she smiled. The first genuine smile for more months than she cared to contemplate. Trust him to find a gentle way around the tension of the moment. Huffing out a laugh, she shook her head. “This way.” She turned to go and then swung back around. “Thank you, Chakotay.”

He gave her a beaming smile. “It’s good to see you, Kathryn.”

“You too, Chakotay.” Her voice dropped to a whisper as she turned back around. “You too.”

She knew it was foolish of her, but just having him here with her made her feel calmer and more in control than she had in a long while.

On the one hand, she was relieved to have some respite from the gnawing fist of discontent that had been her constant companion for the last year or so, but on the other hand, she hated the fact that she appeared so needy. Kathryn Janeway, the one from eight years ago, hadn’t needed anyone. This feeling of inadequacy and dependence was not something that she was proud of and now having seen it so blatantly expressed, she was determined to do something about it. Kathryn would not succumb.

They walked in silence across the grounds of Starfleet academy towards the Administration building, side by side as they had so many times before. They entered the old building and climbed the stairs to the second floor. Kathryn led Chakotay along the hall and stopped in front of a large wooden door. ‘Admiral Kathryn Janeway’ was emblazoned in gold lettering on the dark timber.

Chakotay smiled at her. “Congratulations, Kathryn. It’s well deserved.”

She shrugged and made a non-committal grunt as she pushed open the door.

Samantha Wildman was sitting behind a desk in the waiting room. She looked up and smiled at Kathryn and then, recognising her companion, leapt to her feet and swung around the desk. “Chakotay!”

“Sam!” He pulled her into a warm hug.

“It’s so good to see you. We’ve missed you.” Then remembering herself, she stepped away and gave Kathryn an embarrassed smile. “Oh, Admiral, I’m sorry. I… Please excuse me…”

“It’s all right, Samantha. It’s good to see him, isn’t it?” Kathryn smiled.

“It certainly is.” Samantha relaxed and just stood there, smiling at the pair of them. She was looking back and forth between them and it was making Kathryn a little uncomfortable.

Chakotay, sat on the corner of the desk. “How is Naomi, Sam? And Greskrendrek? I’ve got some catching up to do.”

“Naomi is fine, growing fast. We’re all well in fact. She will be so excited to know you’re home.” Samantha was still standing there smiling at him when, with a jolt, she remembered where she was and moved behind her desk again.

She handed Kathryn a padd. “There are several messages there, Admiral. Tom sent a reminder about dinner tomorrow night and made me promise that I wouldn’t let you cancel again.”

“Thank you, Samantha.” Kathryn took the padd and stepped through the door into her office.

Chakotay gave Samantha a meaningful look. She shrugged her shoulders in answer. “I’ll bring in some coffee… and tea?”

Chakotay nodded. “Thanks, Sam. The usual blend.”

Samantha smiled and spoke softly. “She has it programmed.”

Chakotay raised his eyebrows and looked into the office. Kathryn was stacking padds on one side of the desk. He gave Samantha a quick smile and moved through the doors into the office.

“Have a seat, Chakotay. I’ll get Samantha to bring in some coffee and tea.”

“It’s already on its way.”

Kathryn smiled and shook her head. “I don’t know what I’d do without her. She knows me too well.”

“Hmmm.” He settled himself on the couch by the window and looked at her. She’d lost a little weight, but apart from that, she looked quite well. “How have you been, Kathryn? I’ve really missed you, you know.”

“I’ve been fine, thank you Chakotay. And you, how have you been?”

He smiled to himself. She was going to play it this way. Not much had changed and, he had to hand it to her, she was pretty convincing, but he’d seen her distress earlier and he knew that she’d missed him and besides, it was way past time for superficial niceties. He looked her in the eye and told her the truth. “I’ve been lonely.”

Her eyes started to mist. “Oh.”

“I meant what I said, Kathryn. I’ve missed you.”

She looked at him for a long moment and then her shoulders relaxed and the lines of stress lightened around her eyes. “I’ve missed you too.” She moved towards him. “Why didn’t you contact me?”

He gave a sad smile. “I wasn’t sure you would want to hear from me. I started so many letters, but I could never find the right words. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, I should have called but …. “ Kathryn’s computer beeped. She frowned in frustration and moved to her desk. She checked the sender. “I’m sorry Chakotay, but I have to take this.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“NO!” Her hand shot out towards him, but she snatched it back just as Samantha came through the door with the coffee and tea. Kathryn’s hand dropped to her side and she took a step back. “I mean, no. Please stay. It will only take a moment.” Chakotay was a little taken aback by her reaction and studied her more closely. Samantha had witnessed her reaction as well.

Kathryn realised she’d overreacted and tried to hide her embarrassment by hitting the receive button and taking a seat behind her desk. Chakotay gave Samantha a knowing look and she returned a grim smile. He nodded his thanks and picked up his cup.

Kathryn gave her best business like smile to the grey haired man on her screen. “Admiral Francis, how are you, Sir?”

“Very well, Katie, very well. And how are you, my dear? You’re still looking a little thin, young lady. You need to get home more often and have some of your mother’s wonderful cooking.” He smiled and gave her a wink. “If you’re heading that way, you could give me a call. I wouldn’t mind sampling some too. It’s been too long since I’ve seen Gretchen.”

“I’ll keep that in mind Sir, but I’m assuming this call wasn’t about inviting yourself to dinner.” Her eyes twinkled at the elderly Admiral.

“No, you’re right. I wanted to talk to you about the training cruise. Have you received notification regarding the change of schedule?”

“No, Sir. I’ve just arrived in my office and I haven’t had a chance to look at my messages yet.”

“Well, I’ll save you the trouble. It’s been brought forward by two weeks. You’re to leave the San Francisco Shipyards in eleven days time. Does that give you and your students enough time to prepare?”

“That shouldn’t be a problem, Sir. They’ve already been briefed.”

“Good for you. We are combining the cadets from Temporal Mechanics, Warp Theory, Quantum Chemistry and Advanced Tactical on this trip. Ten students from each course.” Kathryn nodded to the Admiral as he continued. “There’s a new professor teaching the A.T. course who will be accompanying you on the cruise. I think you may even be acquainted with him.”

Kathryn’s heart lurched and she shot a look at Chakotay. He grinned and shrugged. She turned back to the screen. “Yes, Admiral. I’m well acquainted with the professor.”

Admiral Francis laughed. “It will be just like old times, Katie.”

“Yes Sir. Just a little closer to home, I hope.”

Admiral Francis laughed again. “I’ll send through the mission notes and orders this afternoon. We are just lining up another couple of officers to accompany the cadets.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“Talk to you soon, Katie, and have a decent meal, please.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Kathryn hit the end button on the console and looked up at Chakotay, giving him a lopsided smile. “Old family friend.”

He smiled. “I gathered.” He handed her a cup of coffee as she came to sit near him on the couch. Giving her a sideways glance he muttered. “I wonder where we’ll finish up this time.”

Kathryn’s cup stopped half way to her mouth. “Don’t joke about things like that. I’m still a bit sensitive about that, you know. Not to mention a tad paranoid.”

His face broke into a beaming smile. He’d been doing a lot of that this afternoon and the woman sitting here beside him was the reason. If only he could get her to do the same.

There were problems, he knew. They’d all suffered to some extent on their return, but her issues ran deep and from what he gathered from Tom and B’Elanna, she hadn’t done much in the way of dealing with the emotional and psychological fallout of their seven year odyssey. Kathryn was just as stubborn as ever, but he was determined to do something to help and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. This was more than just her life at stake here. His happiness was on the line as well.

He checked the time. He had to go. Placing his empty cup on the table, he stood. Kathryn glanced at the clock as well. “You have to go?”

“I’m afraid so. I’ve got classes this afternoon and a lot to organise before the training cruise. But…. I’d love you to join me for dinner tonight. If you’re free, of course?”

Kathryn was going to make a point of checking her diary but thought better of it. This was Chakotay. He deserved better than some lame attempt to make him think she had a life, and besides, he’d see through the charade in a nanosecond. So with a happy smile, she nodded. “That would be wonderful. There is so much to catch up on.” Kathryn’s computer chimed again and she looked at Chakotay apologetically.

“I’d best get going, Kathryn. I’ll pick you up … here?” She nodded. “At about 1800? We can either head to your house, if you want to change, or we can go directly to the restaurant.”

“Let’s decide then, shall we? I’ve got to see Cadet Holden about his Temporal Mechanics paper. I could very well be homicidal by then.”

He smiled and walked towards her. “Try not to make too much of a mess, blood is hellishly hard to get out of carpet.”

Kathryn laughed but it faded as he leant forward and kissed her cheek. He’d decided that this was going to mark a new phase in their relationship and now was as good a time as any to start.

She gave him a questioning look but he met her gaze squarely. “1800. Don’t be late.”

She nodded and smiled. “See you then.”

He walked out the door and she could hear his voice as he said his goodbyes to Samantha, then the soft thud of the outer door as it closed behind him. Kathryn took a deep breath and let it out slowly but jolted into action as her computer beeped again. It was the stores Sergeant wanting the list of cadets who were going on the cruise. There was much to do.

As she busied herself with organising the following day’s lessons and cadet lists for the cruise, a hesitant sense of joy wormed its way into her heart, but the words of the cadets in the commissary came back to haunt her. _‘He was spoken for.’_ Well, she convinced herself, she would just have to be happy that he was here. They were friends first and foremost and having him close by in that capacity was better than nothing. She’d managed for seven years and she would continue to cope.

There was a knock at the door and Kathryn sat forward and picked up a padd. “Come.”

It was Samantha with some messages.

“Thank you, Ensign.”

Samantha placed another couple of padds on the desk and took a surreptitious look at her boss, trying to hide her smile. The padd Kathryn was pretending to read was upside down. She shifted the coffee pot within reach.

“It was wonderful to see the Commander again, wasn’t it, Admiral?”

Kathryn placed the padd on the desk and looked up. “Yes, it was very nice.”

“Will he be going on the training cruise?”

“Hmmm, it seems so.”

“It will seem like old times, won’t it?”

Kathryn frowned. God, she hoped not. “Yes, I suppose in a way it will. Only this time we’ll try and stay in this quadrant.”

Samantha laughed. “Good idea.”

Kathryn gave her a smile and poured herself a cup of coffee, picking up the padd again and turning it around.

Samantha pretended that she didn’t notice. “I’ll get back to the scheduling lists, Admiral. There’ll be a lot to organise if we’re leaving next week.”

“Thanks, Samantha. I should have the list of cadets finalised by tomorrow.”

Samantha gave Kathryn a nod and left the office. She had a feeling that maybe things were going to change for the better for her boss. She certainly hoped so. Working for her old captain was a dream job, but there was this core of sadness in Kathryn Janeway that Sam would love to see erased. She had no doubt that it had a lot to do with the Commander and, now that he was back and teaching here at the Academy, maybe things would work out for both of them after all.

It had been a disappointment for all the crew when Chakotay had left with Seven. No one had seen that coming, and the whole crew had been shocked. It wasn’t that they didn’t like Seven. On the contrary, she’d grown into an impressive young woman and she’d been very dear to Naomi, but Seven and the Commander? It just didn’t make sense.

Fortunately they’d seen the error of their ways and had parted company within a week of their return, but by that time the Captain had distanced herself from the commander, and Chakotay, probably feeling foolish, had left Earth almost immediately after his debriefings had ended.

He’d joined a Federation archaeological team on one of the planets near the border of Klingon space. Once his tenure with the dig had expired word had filtered through that he’d taken a position somewhere on Earth, but no one had been sure where.

Samantha heaved a sigh of relief knowing that he was close by. The Admiral needed him, even if she wasn’t willing to admit it and she had a strong feeling that the Commander needed Kathryn Janeway just as much. It looked like things were at last going to be put to rights.

* * *

Thoughts of her former First Officer hovered in the back of Kathryn’s mind for the rest of the afternoon as she went about the business of organising the training cruise. They would be in command together again and she couldn’t help the flutter of excitement at the thought. She checked the chronometer. He would be here in less than an hour and she still had work to do. With a smile she reminded herself of all those times in the Delta Quadrant where she’d found herself daydreaming about Chakotay. Old habits died hard. With a quiet chuckle, she took a deep breath, put her head down and concentrated on the work at hand.

1800 arrived in no time, and Kathryn’s head shot up at the gentle knock on her door.

Chakotay stepped around the half opened door. “Am I too early?”

Kathryn waved him in and then held up her hand. She tapped a couple more buttons on her console then snapped the lid shut. “No, perfect timing. I’ve just finished.” She stood up and walked around to the front of the desk. “How was your afternoon?”

Chakotay shrugged. “Okay, I think. I’m grateful to Stenson, my predecessor. He left behind extensive study and curriculum notes, so it was just a matter of picking up where he left off.”

There was a soft tap at the door and Kathryn called. “Come.”

Smiling, Samantha stepped into the room with a couple of padds, which she placed on Kathryn’s desk. “Those aren’t urgent, Admiral and if you don’t need me for anything else, I’m going to head home.”

“No, we’re all done thank you, Samantha. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight Admiral, have a lovely evening. Goodnight, Chakotay. You must come over and see Naomi soon. She’ll be so excited to know you’re back.”

“I’d like that, Sam. Give her a hug and a kiss for me and tell her I’ll see her soon.”

Samantha smiled. “I certainly will. Good night.” She stepped back out of the room and pulled the door closed behind her.

They were alone and all of a sudden Kathryn felt awkward. To cover her discomfort she moved back behind her desk and began to tidy the stack of padds that was threatening to avalanche across the desk top. Once they were tidy she lifted her bag onto the desk. Chakotay was standing watching her, aware of what she was doing. He decided to play along just for the moment. Perhaps over dinner, when she was a little more relaxed, he could talk to her about some of his concerns and maybe some of his plans.

He clapped his hands softly and rubbed them together. Kathryn’s head shot up and he took a step towards her. “So, are you ready for dinner or did you want to go home first?”

Just the thought of being at home alone with him, close to terrified her, so she took the road less hazardous. “I’m happy to head out straight from here. Time is getting on, if we go home first, it will finish up being a late night.

Chakotay nodded. “You’re right. Okay then, let’s go. Was there anywhere in particular that you had in mind?”

Kathryn shook her head. “Not really, but Tom did mention a place down by the bay that has good, reasonably priced Italian. Is that okay with you?”

“Sounds great. Here I’ll take that.” Chakotay took her bag and threw it over his shoulder and crooked his arm.

Kathryn hooked her arm through his and together they walked out of the office.

They transported to the restaurant and took a table by one of the windows that overlooked the water. It had been just over a year since their return but their presence still turned a few heads and they could hear the frantic whispers and pointed stares of several of the patrons. Fortunately they were left alone. The days of paparazzi and autograph seekers were behind them. Kathryn was relieved. She wasn’t a fan of the notoriety.

They ordered their meal and a bottle of wine and Kathryn took a grateful sip. Sitting back in her chair she studied the man across from her. “You look well, Chakotay. Life on Davlos III didn’t do you any harm.”

He smiled. “No, it was exciting work. The ruins were extensive and we uncovered literally thousands of items and about half a city, but it was lonely work. As I said, I missed you.” He noticed Kathryn tense, so he continued. “I missed everyone really. I certainly wasn’t expecting to see Samantha this afternoon. That was a pleasant surprise. Do you see many of the old crew?”

Kathryn shrugged. “Some. Tom and B’Elanna I see often, and Harry when he’s in town. He’s Operations officer on the Livingstone, if you didn’t know.”

“That’s great.” He grinned as he thought of the young Mr Kim. “I’m looking forward to catching up with everyone.”

Kathryn nodded and continued. “Ummm…Who else do I see?… The Doctor is a regular visitor. Tuvok is on Vulcan of course and so is Seven.” Her eyes darted up to see what his reaction was, but he just smiled at her. “Ayala and Dalby are both here at Starfleet doing officer training, Icheb of course is here at the Academy. Most of the Starfleet crew were reassigned but a lot of the Maquis crew left Earth straight after the debriefings, but they come and go and they always make a point of dropping by if they’re planet side. What about you, have you seen many of the old crew?”

“I’ve kept in contact with as many as I could. Davlos III was fairly isolated, but the subspace communications was a godsend. I kept tabs on you through B’Elanna and Tom.”

Kathryn was surprised. “They never said anything.”

“I asked them not to. I wasn’t sure how you would feel about me prying, and basically … I was a coward.” He stared at her for a long moment. “I missed you dreadfully and it’s so good to see you, Kathryn.” He reached across the table and took her hand in his. His eyes held hers for a long moment and then drifted down to their joined hands.

The moment was intense and, partly out of habit, but also because there was so much that needed to be dealt with before they could move forward, Kathryn diverted the conversation, slowly pulling her hand from his grasp. “So you had a good first day. I’m pleased.”

Chakotay smiled to himself, but decided not to press the issue. She’d get used to it soon enough. He wasn’t going to be deterred this time. “Yes, it went well, although during discussion time, there was a dearth of questions about tactics – all they wanted to know about was our adventures in the Delta Quadrant. Do you have that same problem?”

“You mean about the students asking questions about Voyager?”

“Yes. Are your students as ferociously curious as mine, or is just my Tactics class that can’t keep on topic?” He sipped his wine and quirked his brow.

Kathryn smiled. “My students were curious in the beginning, but I think they’ve become as jaded as I have over the last twelve months. I swear some of my students sleep during my class.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

She looked at his kind face and felt the urge to laugh, but not happily. Yes, she would have thought so too a few years ago, but circumstances had changed. “Things are a little different these days, Chakotay.” Her heart hammered in her chest. She’d been so glad to see him this afternoon and it was a joy to be with him now, but admitting to her shortcomings had never been her forte. “I’m not the same Kathryn Janeway I was on Voyager and I’m vastly different to the one who left Earth eight years ago.”

“And that surprises you?” He frowned. “We’re all different, Kathryn. How could we not be after all we’ve been through? You especially… It’s taken its toll and I think it’s all right to admit that to yourself… and to others. You don’t have to be strong all of the time.” He could see her hands shaking and a deepening of the worry lines around her mouth and eyes. He reached across again and held her trembling hand.

Kathryn smiled sadly. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t want to talk about this sort of thing on your first day back.”

Chakotay grabbed at her hand. “Kathryn, its okay. I want to know. We’ve both spent far too many years pretending and pushing our feelings aside. We don’t have to anymore. You can tell me how you feel and you know I’ll never judge you. I was there, remember?”

Kathryn stared at him for several heartbeats then sat back into her seat and sighed. “How did you do it, Chakotay? How did you let it go? I feel like I’m running as fast as I can, but I’m only just keeping ahead of it.”

“Ahead of what, Kathryn?”

Kathryn shook her head and huffed a laugh. “Do you know what? I’m not really sure. All I know is that if I stop, I’ll be overwhelmed and I won’t ever find the real me again.” She could feel the prick of tears in her eyes and looking at Chakotay, she could see a suspicious brightness in his eyes.

Chakotay swallowed and shrugged. “I’m the last person you should ask. I really don’t know. I ran away. There was nothing courageous about that, but I’ve returned now to face my demons.”

Kathryn gave him a look. “I hope you’re not talking about me. You’ll be eating on your own if you are.” Her face brightened and she smiled. The tension was broken for the moment.

Chakotay’s head dropped and he grinned as he looked up at her again. “In a way you are, Kathryn, but a very beautiful demon.” He was going to stop there, but his mouth had other ideas. “One who is loved very dearly.”

Kathryn stared at him. She wasn’t quite sure what that meant. Did he mean that he loved her…? Well, of course he loved her. He was her best friend. Best friends love one another. She certainly loved him as a friend and… She didn’t want to go down that path.

_‘He was spoken for’._ The words echoed through her mind and she had to keep reminding herself of that. Kathryn was trying to think of something to say when the waitress arrived with their meal. She took one more tentative look at their clasped hands then she pulled away again and fiddled with her napkin.

They moved onto more general topics as they ate – the upcoming cruise, Miral and how cute and troublesome she was, the Doctor and his ongoing fight for sentience, Icheb and his studies, basically anything that would steer them away from the emotional minefield that was their relationship.

After their second bottle of wine, and feeling rather brave, Kathryn asked the question that had been dogging her all afternoon. “Chakotay, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but when are you going to introduce me to your new partner?”

He was just taking a sip of his wine and spluttered into his glass. Quickly placing it on the table, he grabbed his napkin and mopped the spilled wine from the front of this uniform jacket and trousers. Once the worst was cleared up he looked up at Kathryn. “My partner?”

Kathryn nodded. “I heard today that you were ‘spoken for’, and as your friend I was hoping to meet the lucky lady.”

“I don’t have a partner, Kathryn. I don’t know where you got that idea. I’m not with anyone.”

Taking a sip of her wine, Kathryn studied him. She could tell that he wasn’t telling her the whole truth and she didn’t have to wait long for him to drop the bombshell.

“That doesn’t mean to say that I’m not spoken for though.”

It was her turn to choke on her wine. She grabbed her napkin and coughed several times. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She waved her hand. “No don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. It’s your business, nothing to do with me. I just hope you’re happy.”

He smiled slowly and leaned across the table to wipe a drop of wine from her chin with his thumb. “Oh, I intend to be.”

Kathryn frowned, but before she could ask any further questions, he called for the waitress and asked for the bill. He gave her a smile. “It’s getting late and I, for one, have an early start tomorrow.”

Now she was flustered. This was the closest they’d ever come to talking about their feelings in years and he pulled the stopper on their conversation. Standing up in a bit of a daze, Kathryn followed Chakotay out into the chilly San Francisco night. He had her bag slung over his shoulder and took her arm again. Kathryn decided at this point not to think about what had happened in the restaurant and to just enjoy the moment. In fact, that was going to be her rule of thumb from now on, as far as her private life was concerned. ‘Live for the moment and let the future take care of itself’. It would be a challenge, but a long overdue change. With a happy sigh she held tight to Chakotay’s arm as they walked back towards the transporter station.

They were both living on the Academy grounds in neighbouring apartment buildings and after Chakotay deposited her at her door, he kissed her cheek again and told her that he’d see her tomorrow evening. He was also going to be at Tom and B’Elanna’s for dinner.

Kathryn watched him as he walked down the corridor to the lifts and waved as the doors slid shut. She leant back against the closed doors and hugged herself, her mind replaying the evening and the look in his eyes as he said that he was spoken for. Could it be? Kathryn shook herself and pushed away from the door. It was too early to start guessing at what he meant, besides, she had a few demons of her own to face before she could even think about moving on. Chakotay’s arrival was perhaps the impetus she needed to get herself back on track. Kathryn got ready for bed and as she slid between the sheets she smiled. Maybe there was hope for her yet. For the first time in months there was something to look forward to.

Over the next week, life for Kathryn and Chakotay fell into an easy pattern of meeting in the mornings for breakfast at one of the campus cafes before rushing off to lectures. They’d meet in the quadrangle for lunch and then again after classes, either going to a restaurant or having dinner at either one of their apartments. Each night ended with a gentle kiss on her cheek and Kathryn found herself looking forward to each day with a vigour and enthusiasm that she hadn’t felt for a long time. She’d even found the courage to visit one of the more highly regarded counsellors on campus. So far she’d had four half hour sessions with Doctor Johannsen and although she knew she probably had months of therapy ahead of her, she was feeling more confident about life already.

Kathryn wasn’t a fool, she also knew that much of her renewed confidence and energy was a direct result of having Chakotay back in her life. It still worried her that she seemed to be so reliant on his presence, but she wasn’t going to quibble over something that gave her so much joy and she was determined to stick to her new life rule and live for the moment. They hadn’t spoken again as they had that first night. Most of their get togethers had involved light hearted banter or discussions about the student cruise, but life was definitely regaining some of the wonder it had once held.

* * *

The student cruise was only a day away, and after much hard work and organising they had their forty students briefed and ready and they would be leaving in just under twenty four hours on the USS Bell. The ship was a refurbished science vessel, Oberth class, that was now used by the Academy for the purpose of training young scientists and tacticians in the practicalities of working on a fully equipped starship under varying conditions. They were heading towards Alpha Centauri, Earths closest stellar neighbour. The trinary system would give the students a chance to study stellar phenomena, the many aspects of warp theory and, on the final two days, there was to be a mock battle with the USS Yukawa

The morning of the cruise, Kathryn met Chakotay for their usual cup of coffee and they went over the final preparations. Commander Jimmy Raue, from Quantum Chemistry and Lieutenant Esek N’Bor, from Warp Theory would also be on board, plus two senior cadets from each discipline, making a final crew complement of fifty two. Kathryn was delighted to hear that Icheb would be one of those cadets accompanying them.

It had been a year since Voyager had returned and this would be Kathryn’s first time off-planet since then. She’d sworn that she wouldn’t venture out into space again once she was home, but the lure was strong and she felt it was almost a test of her resilience and resolve. Something akin to getting back on the horse that had thrown her. She smiled to herself.

“What are you smiling about?”

She and Chakotay were walking towards the shuttle terminal and she turned towards him. “Nothing really. I was just thinking that this is the first time I’ve been off planet since we’ve been back and I hope it’s like riding a bike and that I haven’t forgotten how to command a starship.”

Chakotay laughed. “Oh, I don’t think you need to worry. It’s indelibly stamped on your DNA, and not something that Kathryn Janeway is likely to ever forget.” He grabbed her hand and gave it a quick squeeze before he let it go. “Don’t worry. Everything will be just fine.”

They rounded the corner and found an orderly crowd of students waiting. Together they stood and surveyed their crew. Chakotay nodded towards them. “Were we ever that young?”

Kathryn cast her eye over the cadets and shook her head. “I don’t know about you, but I never was. It’s just not possible.” She gave him a quick smile and then strode forward to arrange her young crew’s transport to the ship. The Bell was in orbit, docked at the San Francisco shipyards awaiting their arrival. Chakotay looked on and took a deep satisfied breath. This was more like the Kathryn Janeway he knew and loved. It was something to behold.

By 1600 they were all on board the Bell. Quarters had been assigned and shift rotations organised. The Beta shift was on duty for their departure and Kathryn looked around the bridge. There were several very nervous looking cadets hovering at their stations and looking towards her with eyes wide with expectation. Lieutenant Raue was monitoring the cadet at the science station and Commander N’Bor was with the warp theorists in Engineering.

Cadet Olaf Fesik spoke from Ops. “Admiral, Starfleet Command has given us the all clear.”

Kathryn nodded to Chakotay and he tapped his combadge. “Engineering, ready with thrusters and prepare for warp.”

_“Aye, sir.”_

He stepped forward. “Helm, release docking clamps and thrusters at half.”

Cadet Myers snapped out an, “Aye, Sir.” from the helm and confidently tapped at the controls of the conn. The muffled thunk of the docking clamps’ release could be heard, along with a slight rumble under their feet as the thrusters came on line. The USS Bell slid gracefully out of space dock, making a smooth turn to starboard. Kathryn stood with her hands on her hips as she watched Earth slip slowly from view and open space filled the screen. “Full impulse, Cadet Myers, and then once we’re clear of Sol system, best speed to Proxima Centauri.”

“Aye, Admiral.” Kathryn watched the young cadet’s rigid back and turning to Chakotay, raised her eyebrows slightly and then took her seat. Chakotay walked around the bridge, looking at each of the stations briefly before taking his seat beside Kathryn. He leant across and whispered. “So far, so good.”

She glared at him and whispered back. “You certainly know how to put the kybosh on things don’t you.”

He mouthed. ‘Oops’ And sat back with a smile.

“We are clear of the Sol system, Admiral. Increasing to warp on my mark.” There was an anxious two seconds as Myers waited for the go ahead from Engineering. “Mark.” And Kathryn felt the familiar sensation of her stomach dropping into her boots as they hit faster than light speed and then the ship shot forward and the stars became rainbow streaks on the viewscreen.

“Warp four, warp six… warp eight. We are now at cruising velocity, Admiral. On course for Proxima Centauri.” Myers almost sighed the last sentence.

Kathryn noticed the young man’s shoulders relax slightly. He’d done well. She stood up and moved the few paces to the helm and placed her hand on his shoulder. “Well done, Cadet Myers. Commander Chakotay couldn’t have done a better job.” The young man turned and grinned at her and his eyes darted to Chakotay who remained straight faced and quirked an eyebrow at the young man. Myers head snapped to the front again and Kathryn mouth twisted into a lopsided smile as she walked back to her seat.

Chakotay was quite happy to be the brunt of her jokes if it meant that they had some of the old Janeway spit and fire back and it seemed that they did. What a relief.

That evening a celebration was held in the crew lounge. Kathryn spent an hour or so meeting the cadets that she didn’t already know and then left them to their fun. The senior cadets were in charge of making sure that the revelry didn’t get out of hand and she’d left strict instructions with Icheb to contact her, or Chakotay, if things looked like they were getting out of control. It may have been ‘several’ years ago, but she did remember quite vividly what used to happen at cadet parties in her day.

She made her way back to her quarters. N’Bor was the senior officer on the Gamma shift, and in safe hands. She and Chakotay were back on duty in the morning but it was only early. She tapped her combadge. “Janeway to Chakotay.”

_“Chakotay here, Admiral.”_

He must be with cadets somewhere to call her Admiral. “Time to let the Gamma shift takeover, Commander. I’ll meet you in the Officer’s Mess.”

_“Aye, Admiral. I won’t be more than five minutes.”_

“Good. Janeway out.”

She wandered into the small dining room. Raue was already there and stood when she entered. Kathryn waved for him to stay seated as she made her way to the replicator. She ordered her meal and joined the other lecturer at the table.

The Bell was an Oberth class vessel, about half the size of Voyager. It was of the same vintage, so the colours and décor were not dissimilar, but there was the designated Officers mess on deck two and then the larger crew mess, which was housed several decks below. Kathryn had grown rather fond of the idea of eating with the crew, as she had on Voyager, but nothing stayed the same, or so she’d found out just recently.

Chakotay came through the doors of the mess and after quickly acknowledging Kathryn and Raue, he headed to the replicator. With his meal in hand, he took a seat opposite Kathryn, and greeted Raue.

James ‘Jimmy’ Raue, a jovial human, originally from the Mars colonies, sat back with his cup of tea. “Well, I think we’re off to a good start. Some of the poor pets down in Astro sciences were a little queasy when we first went to warp, but they soon settled. There haven’t been any other incidents to speak of.”

“How did you think they performed, Chakotay?” Kathryn looked towards her first officer.

“I was impressed with Myers. He handled the Bell like a pro out of space dock. He’ll go far and some of the engineering cadets were very confident and hands on. I compliment you on that, Jimmy. Well done. But the proof will be in how they perform under stress over the next week. But just looking at them, they seem like a good and lively group. Kathryn?”

“I’m pleasantly surprised and yes, Myers was outstanding. But we’ll see how they perform tomorrow when the drills start.”

They all nodded and then finished their meals. Raue left soon after to relieve N’Bor for his evening meal.

“Did you want another tea, Chakotay?” Kathryn was standing over by the replicator.

“Yes, thanks.”

She ordered their drinks and handed him his tea as she sat down again then turned and looked out the viewport at the passing stars. “Seems like old times, doesn’t it?”

“Hmmm, yes, in a way. But different.”

Kathryn turned to him and smiled. “Thank you.”

Chakotay looked towards her questioningly. “What for?”

Shrugging, Kathryn took a sip of her coffee before she answered. “It’s going to sound corny, but thank you for being my friend. I missed you while you were away, but I just didn’t realise how much. I’m very glad you’re here.”

“No gladder than I am to be here. It’s good to see you, Kathryn.”

“You’ve been seeing me everyday for the last twelve days. I’m surprised you’re not sick of the sight of me by now.” She’d said it jokingly, but the look on Chakotay’s face was very serious.

“That will never happen, Kathryn. Ever. I hope you realise that.”

Yes, she was just starting to realise exactly that. This time she reached across and took Chakotay’s hand. “I do.”

The door swished open and she snatched her hand away, giving Chakotay an embarrassed smile, he grinned back at her.

“Good evening, Admiral, Chakotay.”

“Good evening, Esek. How is the Gamma shift looking?”

Esek N’Bor was a Grazerite of indeterminate age. Grazerites were not renowned for their outgoing personalities, but Esek was relatively easy to get along with. He got his meal and joined Kathryn and Chakotay at the table. “The shift is going smoothly and the cadets are proficient, if not a little nervous. They will improve as the week progresses. Jimmy is babysitting while I have my meal.” They were graced with a rare smile from the usually grim lecturer.

Kathryn returned the smile and they spent the next half an hour discussing the drills prepared for the next day.

After N’Bor left for the bridge, Chakotay escorted Kathryn to her quarters. They were housed two decks away from one another and as Chakotay turned to go, Kathryn called him back. “Chakotay?”

He swung around. “Hmmm?”

This time she stood on tip toe and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Chakotay.”

Chakotay glanced up and down the corridor and then gave Kathryn a broad grin. “Good night, Kathryn. Sweet dreams.”

She slid through the door of her room and leaning back against the closed doors thought to herself that she certainly would tonight, be having sweet dreams indeed.

* * *

They arrived at Proxima Centauri, the brightest of the three stars in the Centauri cluster on day three of their tour. The drills over the last two days had gone well and they were spending the next two days gathering stellar data and analysing some of the unusual dust clouds in the region.

The data gathering was interspersed with tactical drills and staged combat scenarios. The day after next they would engage the Yukawa in a mock battle.

The following day Kathryn was in the Stellar Sciences lab with four cadets going over the data gathered in today’s scans. Icheb was there with Henry Myers, Bradley Henderson and a young Betazoid called Tiror Llias. Kathryn had to smile at their banter. Bradley was very much the clown of the group and had his classmates in stitches most of the time. Myers, who appeared on the surface a very serious young man, had a lightening wit and Llias, although tiny and waif like, held her own very satisfactorily.

Not wanting to interfere with their analysis, Kathryn stood towards the back of the room and watched the group work towards a solution to the problem she’d set regarding the radiation levels in the stellar dust surrounding the planet of Centauri III. She was impressed with their ability to each utilise their expertise. That sort of synchronicity was not easy to come by and it would stand them in good stead. She sensed that they were good friends away from the classroom, and this connection worked to their advantage as they bounced ideas off each other and finally came to the correct conclusion. They input the data, stepped back from the console and looked towards her, their faces bright and eager to impress.

Kathryn smiled at them all and stepped over to the console. She reviewed their analysis and then addressed them. “Well, done. I’m most impressed. Your analysis is correct and the algorithms you used were inspired. Very cleverly done and I’ll be putting a merit award in each of your files. You’ve all done very well.”

The three younger students all smiled at each other and Icheb looked on with pride. He met Kathryn’s eyes over the heads of the excited cadets, and then came to attention. “Cadets, you’re dismissed.”

The three snapped to attention, then turned and, like puppies, tumbled out of the door of Stellar Sciences lab. Kathryn turned to Icheb with a smile and indicated the door. They followed the young cadets out into the hallway. “So Icheb, I haven’t had a chance to speak with you for some time. How have you been?”

“Very well, thank you, Admiral. I am enjoying my studies and pleased with my progress.”

“I’m happy to hear that, Icheb. I hear only praise from your teachers and tutors. Only another six months and you’ll be ready for your first assignment. Do you have any preferences yet as to what you’d like to do?”

“I feel that I would best serve Starfleet by working in either the field of Genetic research or Astrometrics.”

Kathryn nodded. “Even after studying all the other subjects, you’re still set on those.”

“I have liked all the subjects I have studied, but as I said, I feel I would best serve Starfleet in the either of those two capacities. I am most familiar with those disciplines and because of my genetic makeup, I have an innate propensity towards both subjects.”

Kathryn gave him a gentle smile. “It is permissible to choose something that you enjoy doing, Icheb.”

“Enjoyment is irrelevant.”

“Oh, no it’s not.”

Icheb stopped and turned to Kathryn. “I am confused then, Admiral. As the two most senior adults that I know, you and the commander are the people on which I have modelled my humanity. In all the time I observed you in the Delta Quadrant, I do not ever remember either of you doing anything purely for the sake of enjoyment itself. The crew, the ship and the mission always took priority. I have done my best to emulate your actions. Have I been in error?”

Kathryn resisted the urge to hug Icheb and apologise for being such a poor role model. The poor boy would be horrified no doubt, but she owed it to him to try and explain. “No, Icheb you have not been in error. It was the Commander and I who were in error. It’s not easy to explain but, particularly over the last few years of our journey, we found it difficult to balance the lighter more carefree side of our natures with the constant stress and intensity of being in command and so far from home. In hindsight there were times when we should have thrown caution to the wind, but it was our error and one we have both paid for dearly.”

They started walking again and Icheb took a moment to assimilate what the Admiral had said. He spoke without looking at her. “In that case, I shall review my choices and I shall endeavour to enjoy myself more in the future and I hope that, both you and the Commander, have learnt from your mistake and will now take the time to find some joy in your lives.”

Kathryn almost laughed and thought to herself. ‘From the mouths of babes.’

They were at the turbo lift and could see the other cadets moving away from them down the corridor.

Icheb came to attention. “Thank you, Admiral.”

She smiled at him and laid her hand on his shoulder. “You go and have some fun, Icheb. That’s an order. Hurry.” Kathryn nodded towards his friends who were moving further away.

He followed her gaze and with a smile, nodded and turned, jogging to catch up with his classmates and friends.

Kathryn leant against the bulkhead and watched as Henderson pulled Icheb into a playful headlock. They all laughed and rumbled down the corridor, around the bend and out of sight.

Heaving a sigh, Kathryn hit the lift button and stood contemplating her feet until the lift arrived. She stepped inside to find Chakotay standing there. “Chakotay.”

“Kathryn.”

They stood side by side and stared at the closed lift doors.

Kathryn couldn’t bear it any longer. “Computer, halt lift.”

Chakotay turned to her. “Kathryn? Is everything all right?”

She turned to him and smiled. “Yes, everything is almost perfect. I just had a very interesting conversation with Icheb.”

Chakotay smiled. “And…?”

“And, he’s growing into a fine young man.”

Chakotay nodded. “Yes he is.”

They were silent for a moment then Kathryn jolted into action. “Are you doing anything for dinner, Chakotay?

“Ummm, no. Just going to the Officer’s mess as usual. Did you have something in mind, Kathryn?”

She grinned. “Yes. Some fun.”

“Fun? Errr, what sort of fun?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, and I don’t care, but it’s been a while. I just hope I haven’t forgotten how.”

Chakotay just stood there and grinned at her.

After a moment, Kathryn looked at him sideways. “What?”

“It’s good to have you back.”

Kathryn crossed her arms over her chest and leant back against the wall of the turbo lift, her eyes suspiciously bright. She didn’t pretend to not know what he was talking about. “It’s good to be back. Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything. You were never far away.”

Kathryn pushed herself away from the wall. “You’re a good friend, Chakotay. The very best.” And before she could think too much about it, she placed her hand on his chest, stood on her tip toes and kissed him on the lips. It wasn’t a peck, nor was it a lingering kiss, but she hoped it was a kiss that would leave him in no doubt about how she felt. It was definitely _not_ the kiss of a friend.

He grinned. “Maybe I’m out of practice, but I don’t ever remember kissing any of my friends like that, but maybe they do things differently in Indiana?”

“You have kissed before, haven’t you?”

“Once or twice, in my dim dark past.” His eyes were sparkling with laughter.

“Hmmm, yes. I seem to remember some of those.”

“Ouch! If I told you they didn’t mean anything, would you believe me?”

“Probably.”

“Good, because it’s true.”

“Chakotay?”

“Yes, Kathryn.”

“Are you doing anything this weekend?”

“No.”

“I think we’re due for a short holiday. I’m very serious about this ‘fun’ thing.”

“Fun is good.”

“So I hear.”

Kathryn’s face broke into a wide grin and Chakotay responded in kind. “We’d better get to the bridge.”

“Yes, we should. But before we go, can I tell you something?”

Chakotay took a step closer to her and leant down a little, waiting to hear what she had to say.

She leaned in close and her hot breath wafted past his ear. “I love you.”

He nodded and whispered into her ear. “I know and I love you too.”

They both pulled back and heaved satisfied sighs. Turning, they stood side by side and looked towards the doors of the lift again. Kathryn chuckled quietly. “That wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.”

Chakotay nodded, still looking straight ahead. “Pretty simple really.”

“Computer, resume.” Kathryn was grinning from ear to ear and just as the lift began to slow she turned to Chakotay. “Oh, as well as dinner, how about we look into this kissing thing too. My quarters 1900, don’t be late.”

The doors slid open and Kathryn strode out of the lift without a backward glance. Chakotay was rooted to the spot in shock, but jolted to life as Cadet Peters at the Ops station stood to attention and barked. “Admiral on the bridge.”

Chakotay stumbled out of the doors and smiled apologetically as several heads turned and stared. Kathryn Janeway was back with a vengeance.

* * *

Holding a padd in one hand, Chakotay rang the chime on Kathryn’s door and turned to smile at couple of cadets who just happened to be walking past. The door swished open and Kathryn looked up from her desk and spoke loudly. “Ah, Commander, you have those tactical breakdowns I was after. Thank you.” The door swished shut, blocking the inquisitive stares of the young students and before Chakotay knew what was happening, Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck and planted her lips on his. He pulled away with a gasp and she laughed. “I’ve been thinking about doing that all afternoon. I feel much better now.” Her body slid down his, but she stayed pressed up against him.

He was stunned but quickly decided that he felt much better as well, although he wasn’t sure he could quite articulate that yet.

Kathryn cupped his cheek. “Are you all right, Chakotay? I’ve given you a fright haven’t I? You know what I’m like though, once I make up my mind about something…”

Chakotay smiled. “Oh, I know you better than you think.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” She smiled broadly.

“Kathryn?” She turned back towards him. He looked very serious and reached down and took her hand. “Are you really all right? I’ve been worried about you. Everyone has.”

Kathryn huffed out a laugh. “Yes, I really am and it’s in no small part thanks to you.” Chakotay opened his mouth to say something, but she placed her fingers over his lips. “I know what you’re going to say and yes, I’m going to continue with the counselling sessions when we get back home, but I feel like I have a focus again, a purpose, and once we get home, I’m going to make some drastic changes to my life.”

Chakotay ran the back of his fingers over her cheek. “What sort of changes did you have in mind?”

Kathryn tilted her head on the side and studied him carefully. “I was thinking of buying a house, settling down, maybe getting a dog and a live in partner.”

Chakotay nodded. “Sounds a little like what I had planned. Do you think we could maybe combine our plans and buy that house together, and be each others live in partner?”

“Hmmm, that seems like the logical thing to do, as Tuvok would say.”

“I wonder what Tuvok really would say?”

“Probably what most of the crew would say, that it’s about time. This has been a lot of years in the making you know.”

Chakotay couldn’t disagree with that. “Eight years. One of the longest courtships on record.”

“That was courting? Romance by the light of the Kazon and the Collective. If I’d known, I might have behaved better, oh and worn cologne.”

“What? I don’t think I’d know what to do with a well behaved Kathryn Janeway. It might take some getting used to and you smell sweet enough.”

“Oooo, Commander, that was almost too smooth, but I’m happy to misbehave, if you prefer.”

“It depends. What do you have in mind?”

“Well, there’s this little shack on the shore of Lake George that hasn’t seen any action since my sister left for the Mars Colonies five years ago, I think we could remedy that situation when we get home.”

“You’re on. Oh and Kathryn, just so there is no misunderstanding, the person whom I ‘was spoken for’ was you.”

A beaming smile lit her face. “I’d hoped it was.” Teetering on her tip toes again, Kathryn brushed her lips across his and then held him tight as his arms draped around her loosely. They stood in the middle of her quarters swaying together until Kathryn slowly pulled away. “One day we’ll have to do that to music.”

Chakotay’s eyes twinkled and he opened his mouth to say something but Kathryn jumped in first. “If you’re going to say something nauseatingly twee about the music in our hearts or some such, I’m going to have to phaser you.”

He burst out laughing. “I wouldn’t dare. I was actually going to say that I’m hungry and can we eat soon?”

Kathryn gave him a disbelieving look. “Hmmm, yes, well I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt this once. Now come on, lets have something to eat and I really do have some tactical breakdowns to go over with you before the war games tomorrow.”

“I thought you said something about kissing?”

A broad smile broke out across her face. “Oh, I think we can fit a bit of that in between scenarios.”

“You’re going to be the death of me woman.”

“Oh, God, I hope not. We’ve wasted too many years as it is. I want you alive and well for the next fifty at least.”

“Fifty huh? I’ll have to check my calendar.”

“I already have. You’re free…” She added sotto voce. “…but not for much longer.”

Chakotay threw his arms up. “Okay, I surrender. I’ve been bushwhacked but I’m happy to capitulate.”

Kathryn did a double take and Chakotay shook his head and laughed. “I said ‘capitulate’. My God woman, get your mind out of the gutter. Didn’t you say something about dinner?”

The grin seemed to be permanently etched on her face. “Yes, I did and I vote that you cook. My relationship with this replicator is not much better than the one on Voyager. She’s all yours.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Chakotay?”

“Hmmm?”

Kathryn’s hands slid up over his shoulders and her fingers wove through his hair, pulling his face towards her. She kissed him, hard. She was leaving no doubt in his mind that she’d meant what she’d said. Her mouth was soft and pliant, and her body equally so. Chakotay wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her flush against him.

With a heavy sigh, Kathryn pulled away and caressed his cheek. “I think we’re going to have to put the kissing on hold for the time being. We’re never going to get anything done and they’ll find us in here, lip locked and all shrivelled from lack of food and water.”

Chakotay shook himself and tried to get that picture out of his mind. It wasn’t all bad. In fact being lip locked with Kathryn had some decided advantages, but now was not the time. Not with a ship full of cadets. It was worse than a ship full of Voyager crew. Teenagers it seemed were hypersensitive to things like adult affairs. They could smell sex a parsec away. He and Kathryn would have to wait until they were back on Earth to consummate this relationship. What was new? He almost laughed. It seemed to be the story of their lives.

He picked up her hand and kissed it then moved over to the replicator. “All right, dinner. What would you like?”

“Something simple. Some pasta perhaps or some soup. I’m not all that hungry.”

“Okay, soup it is then.”

While Chakotay ordered their meal, Kathryn cleared a space for their meal.

Sweeping aside several padds, she placed the spoons, plates and napkins on the table. By that time, Chakotay was on his way over with two steaming bowls of… “What are we having?”

“Minestrone and crunchy bread. I haven’t had it in years.” He sat down and his eyes lit up with mischief. “It’s an ancient recipe among my people…”

Kathryn laughed. “Trouble maker…. I don’t think I’ll ever believe another thing you tell me.”

He leant across the table and sprinkled some Parmesan cheese on top of her soup and looked into her eyes. “Just believe that I love you. That’s all you need to know.”

Kathryn smiled and nodded. “I’ll never doubt that, ever.”

Chakotay tore off a chunk of bread and passed it to her and together they ate their meal, tossing quips back and forth before they settled down to the business of the following day’s tactical breakdowns.

“The Yukawa will be here at 0600 and the mock battle is scheduled to begin at 0715. That will catch most of the cadets at change of shift.”

Chakotay rolled his eyes. “That’ll make for a small shuttle load of mayhem.”

Kathryn shrugged. “That’s the idea. We want to see how they perform under stress, having battles scheduled conveniently between meals is not terribly realistic.”

“Who’s commanding the Yukawa?”

“A Captain Dean Waverley. Do you know him?”

Chakotay shook his head. “No. You?”

Kathryn shook her head too. “No. I’ve heard of him though. A bit of a martinet, if the stories are true. He should give us a run for our money.”

“I doubt he’ll be able to outmanoeuvre Admiral Janeway. He’ll have his work cut out for him. What scenarios have you got there?”

They put their heads together and spent a couple of hours going over plans and scenarios.

It was getting late. Chakotay stood and said his goodnights. “I’ll see you on the bridge, Kathryn. Sleep well.”

They kissed goodnight and said a wistful farewell at her door.

Kathryn tidied her table and then sipped on her coffee as she watched the planet of Proxima II spin slowly in its orbit. Things were going so well, her life was back on track and she was with Chakotay at last… then why did she have this feeling of impending doom in the pit of her stomach. She hated that feeling.

* * *

Kathryn hadn’t slept well, the sense of foreboding had been hard to ignore. She strode onto the bridge at 0600. N’Bor greeted her with a dour good morning and the Gamma shift cadets gave their reports. With her third cup of coffee in hand, she moved into the briefing room to wait for the rest of the day shift. The Yukawa should be arriving at any moment and she was looking forward to the distraction of the battles, she just wished she could shake this ominous feeling.

On the dot of 0645, the day shift appeared and Kathryn emerged from the briefing room to oversee the handover of the key stations on the Bridge. Cadet Selwyn Avery was manning the Ops console and with a voice that changed octaves several times, called across the bridge. “Vessel approaching from our port side, Admiral. Its shields are up and weapons are armed.”

Kathryn stood to the side and nodded towards Henderson. He turned to Avery. “Yellow alert. Try hailing them.”

“No response. They’re taking up an offensive position, their torpedo bays are directed at our weapons and engines.”

Kathryn looked across at Chakotay and he met her look with a slight frown. This was an unnecessarily aggressive stance to take this early in the games. What was Waverley playing at? It seemed a little excessive and it wasn’t like he needed to impress a ship full of cadets. They were nervous enough they didn’t need to be intimidated into surrendering.

_“Engineering to the bridge. There is a problem with the plasma manifolds, we’ve got a pressure build up. We could use some help.”_

Kathryn turned to Chakotay and with a flick of her head, ordered him down to Engineering. She was keeping her eye on the Yukawa.

Myers was at the Helm again, Tiror was at Tactical, Icheb was at the Science station and Henderson was acting Commander. Avery at Ops was staring wide eyed at the vessel on the viewscreen as it inched its way forward. “Admiral, they’re taking an offensive position and all weapons are locked on.”

Something was definitely wrong. Avery yelled. “They’ve dropped their shields and there’s a transport in progress.”

Kathryn turned to Tiror and was about to order shields up when the bridge faded from view and in the next second she was staring at Cardassians on the bridge of the Yukawa. Before she had a chance to open her mouth, the one wearing the uniform strip of a Gul stepped forward and slapped her hard across the face. She staggered and tasted the copper tang of blood. Wiping her mouth with her sleeve she stood tall and demanded. “Who the hell are you and what are you doing? I demand to be returned to my ship.”

There was another shimmer of blue and Kathryn turned to find Icheb, Henderson, Myers and Tiror standing behind her. They looked towards her, unsure whether this was part of the scenario or not and when they saw the Cardassian, fear tinged their looks. They remained calm and she gave them a nod.

There were two Cardassian guards with weapons aimed at them and Kathryn moved between them and the cadets. “Send them back. They’re only children.”

The Cardassian’s Gul’s lip curled in disdain. “Exactly. You are responsible for their wellbeing, no?”

Kathryn didn’t like where this was going and her answer was too slow in coming. He slapped her hard again and she stumbled to her knees. Tiror Llias made a sound and out of the corner of Kathryn’s eye she saw the cadets move forward. Without taking her eyes off the Cardassian in front of her, she held up hand urging them back and staggered to her feet again.

“Let them go and I’ll be happy to negotiate.”

“You must think I’m a fool, Janeway. And I am not a fool! Not a fool!” He bellowed into her face. His eyes were wild and there was spittle in the corner of his mouth. It took all her willpower not to cringe or back away. The man was raving and Kathryn had a sinking feeling in her gut. She wasn’t dealing with a sane man and this meant that any attempt at negotiating was next to useless. He was obviously unstable. Damn. She needed to create some sort of rapport with him and keep his focus on her and away from the cadets.

Her voice softened. “You have me at a disadvantage. I am addressing…?”

He took a step away and stood tall. “Gul Evek, Commanding Officer in the Cardassian Fourth Order, overseer of Cardassian affairs in the Demilitarized Zone.”

Kathryn bowed her head in feigned deference. “Gul Evek. As a representative of Starfleet and the Federation I would be happy to hear your grievances and I’m sure we could come to some arrangement to try and meet a solution.”

“A solution!? You would have me negotiate with a Maquis whore!?” Again he yelled into her face, his spittle spraying all over her. _Maquis whore…?_ Surely he couldn’t be referring to her and Chakotay?

“I beg your pardon?”

Evek began to pace back and forth. “I’ve waited eight years. Eight years! And while my wife went insane with grief, he was out there, warming your bed, the Federation cosseting him, promoting him. A terrorist and child murderer.” He swung back around and spoke feverishly into her face. “Well, I have something precious of his now, and when I destroy it, I’ll see him suffer as I have.”

“I am still unsure of whom you are referring, Gul Evek.”

Without warning he back handed her and she saw stars. Her eye began to swell. “You don’t know. Ha! You think I’m a fool. I’m talking about Chakotay, your lover.”

There would be no point in denying it. This was all about what Evek believed rather than what was the truth, but she needed information. Where were the Yukawa crew, and what had Chakotay done? Or what did Evek think he had done?

“I can help you, Evek. But I need information. Where are the crew of this vessel?”

“Dead, they put up a pathetic fight.”

Oh God. Dead. “Evek, this was a training cruise. You killed teachers and technicians. They weren’t trained to fight.”

He was too embroiled in his own sick and misguided fantasies to see reason or have any remorse.

Kathryn could do nothing for the Yukawa crew, but she could save her cadets. She needed to know. “Evek, I need to know what you think Chakotay has done.”

“What I _think_ he has done. I know what he did. The murderer. My son and my wife… it was at his hands. At _his_ hands.” He was muttering to himself and Kathryn’s eyes darted to the two Cardassian soldiers behind him. They’d glanced at each other and were now frowning. They hadn’t realised he was insane either, but like good soldiers they kept their place.

She needed more information and just hoped that it didn’t tip him over the edge but she had to know. “How, Gul Evek, how did this happen?”

“Like a true Maquis coward, he fled using the plasma storms of the Badlands as cover, but he underestimated me. I would not give up. He’d taunted me one too many times. It was my destiny to see him destroyed. Him and his pathetic band of marauders. But he dealt me a murderous blow. I’d already lost two sons to the war, and my youngest was an engineer on my ship, the Vetar. He wasn’t supposed to die. Resik was supposed to be safe but because of that _ratunka,_ Chakotay we were hit by a plasma storm.” Evek’s face began to crumple and his voice became a pitiful whine. “Resik wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near the port blade, he was supposed to be monitoring the impulse drive, away from any danger.” All of a sudden his eyes narrowed and he stared, like a snake, at Kathryn. “I’ve taken my revenge on all who were involved. The fool who ordered him to that part of the ship, the chief engineer, his commanding officer… they are all dead and now it is Chakotay’s turn. It is his turn to die. But first he is going to suffer. I’m going to take from him the thing he loves most. _You.”_

She shook her head sadly. “I’m sorry for your loss, Gul Evek. It was a terrible tragedy. No one should have to endure such loss, but I’m afraid you are wrong about Chakotay and me. I am his commanding officer and have been for almost eight years, but that is all. He won’t risk the ship or its crew to save me. And I can guarantee that and the Federation will not hand him over to you no matter what you threaten.” Kathryn held his eyes with a glare of her own. “The Federation will not negotiate with kidnappers. You have lost already, Evek.”

“I have not lost. I have won. You’re here, they are here and he is over there trying desperately to find a way to get you back. Panic is setting in and fear. I only wish I was there to see it.”

He turned to his soldiers. “Take them, take them all and put them in the brig.”

Evek turned back to Kathryn and with a malevolent smile, sneered. “Now it is time for me to have some ‘fun’, Admiral. Something of which you are fond, I hear.”

Kathryn’s eyes widened. How could he know of Chakotay’s and her conversation? They’d been in the turbo lift.

Evek’s eyes danced with menace. “Ah, you see, Admiral. I know exactly how Chakotay feels about you and you about him. I have been monitoring you for weeks. This is sweet revenge indeed.”

Kathryn moved in front of him as he made to leave. “Let them go, Evek. I’ll stay and you can do whatever you like with me, but let them go. They have nothing to do with this. They’re only children.”

“As was Resik…” He spat bitterly and then turned his back on her and spoke again to the guards. “Take them and, if any of them give you any trouble, kill them.”

The doors swished shut behind him and Kathryn turned and faced the cadets for the first time. She looked at each one of them and they met her gaze steadily. She was so proud of them. One of the guards stepped forward and waved his phaser at them. Kathryn gave the cadets a nod and, at phaser point, they were led off the bridge, into the turbo lift and down to the brig. They were shoved into the one cell and with the fizzle of the forcefield Kathryn turned and gritted her teeth. The guards left the room and she swore under her breath. “Damn.”

* * *

On the bridge of the Bell, Selwyn Avery had stood with his mouth hanging open for several seconds as he watched the Admiral and his classmates disappear. His first thought was that it was some sort of nightmarish Kobyashi Maru, but then he figured that surely they wouldn’t beam the Admiral away as well. He immediately raised the shields and hoped that he’d done the right thing.

“Avery to Commander Chakotay.”

_“Chakotay here, Cadet.”_

“Commander, they’re gone.”

_“What? Who’s gone?”_

“They were beamed away. The Admiral and the rest of the bridge crew. I’m the only one left.”

_“Raise shields.”_

“I’ve done that.”

_“Keep a sensor lock on the Yukawa. I’m on my way.”_

Chakotay left engineering at a run. What the hell had happened? This wasn’t part of the tactical scenarios they’d reviewed last night and Waverley wouldn’t change anything without contacting them. Something was wrong. Damn. He knew it had been too good to be true. He barrelled out of the lift onto an empty bridge.

Avery spoke to him from Ops. “Sir, I’ve called for replacement crew, they’re on their way.”

“Good thinking, Cadet. Have you found the Admiral and the others yet?”

“No Sir, but the Yukawa has its shields up and I’m having trouble penetrating them with sensors. They’re shields are specialised, like ours, and the victurium alloys in the bulkheads are reflecting our transporters. I’m working on it though, Sir.” Chakotay opened his mouth, but Avery continued. “I’ve scanned the space for one parsec around and there are no signs of any other vessels. I’ve sent hails to the Yukawa, but they’re not answering. What’s happened, Sir?”

Chakotay turned to the young man, impressed with his level headed approach to the problem but he didn’t try to hide his concern. “I don’t know, Cadet. I really don’t know. I think we have to assume they’ve been taken hostage and if that’s the case, hopefully we should hear soon, from whoever has taken them and what their demands are.”

Chakotay stared at the Yukawa, looming large on the screen and then sat at his seat and tapped at his console, trying desperately to find a way around the stubborn shields.

The lift doors opened and several cadets spilled onto the bridge along with Commander Raue and Lieutenant N’Bor. Raue moved down to the command deck. “What’s happening and why are the shields up?”

Chakotay filled the two officers in on what they knew. Just when they began to speculate about who or what was responsible, Avery called from Ops.

“We’re being hailed, Commander.”

“On screen.”

Chakotay frowned deeply as the face of a Cardassian filled the screen. _“Commander_ Chakotay. We meet at last.”

Chakotay took a step forward. “And you are?”

“I’m surprised you have forgotten so soon. I am Gul Evek and I am here to destroy your life as you destroyed mine.”

“Where are my people?”

“Why, here in our brig of course.”

“And the crew of the Yukawa?”

“They were an unnecessary complication. You can collect their corpses from a few parsecs back.”

There were gasps and muffled cries from the cadets on the bridge and Chakotay took a step closer to the viewscreen. “I need proof that Admiral Janeway and the cadets are still alive. Then we can negotiate.”

The view shifted from the bridge of the Yukawa to the brig and they could all see Kathryn and the four cadets standing together in the brig. Relief washed over Chakotay… there was hope. They were still alive and knowing Kathryn she already had some sort of plan in the making. But they couldn’t rely on that, they had to do something.

“I demand their immediate release.”

“You demand nothing. You brought this on yourself by taking from me all that I held dear and I am going to do the same to you. I want you to suffer as I have, to feel the pain of wrenching loss. You took them from me and now I’m going to take her from you.”

“Take me, Evek. Your grievance is with me, take me and send them back. They’ve done nothing to you.”

“That would be so easy and oh, don’t worry, I intend to kill you too, slowly, but not just yet. I want you alive to suffer. I will send you her head.”

The viewscreen went blank and then the external view of the Yukawa filled the screen. Chakotay slammed his hand against the railing and swore under his breath.

He turned to Avery. “Can you isolate our people’s combadges or their life signs?”

“I’ve refocussed the sensors and I can isolate their life signs now, but I can’t lock onto them through the shields or bulkheads.”

Chakotay began pacing back and forth across the bridge. After all these years, his past had come to haunt him. Evek had Kathryn and he would kill her, Chakotay had no doubt about that. The man was insane. Obsessed and insane. A deadly combination.

He swung around to Raue. “Inform Starfleet that we have a hostage situation and tell them all that we know. Get them to send whatever Starships are closest, and we’ll need a negotiator as well. Cadet Peters, find out all you can about Gul Evek. I want to know what his problem is with me and what drove him to do this. Avery, call the other senior cadets to the bridge.” Chakotay took a deep breath and looked around him. Hell. He had two teachers who had never seen combat and a ship full of children. The scenario couldn’t have been worse but there had to be something they could do.

* * *

Kathryn and the four cadets sat in a huddle in the corner of their cell. “All right, let’s see where we stand. We’ve got our combadges. Has anyone got anything else?”

Tiror put up her hand. “I have a type 1 phaser.” Kathryn blinked and watched as Tiror slid it from her sleeve and into her palm. The young betazoid shrugged. “I sensed that something was wrong and grabbed the phaser from under my console just before we were beamed away. Sorry.”

Kathryn could have almost hugged her. “Don’t apologise, that’s what we call officer level thinking, Llias. Well done. Anyone else?”

Henderson pulled a small utility knife from his boot. “This isn’t exactly standard issue, or part of the uniform, but my father always carried one and swore it got him out of more scrapes than he cared to mention.”

Kathryn shook her head. “Have you all been reading the Maquis handbook? I know a Commander who would be rather impressed with this. But if I catch you with it again, cadet…”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Kathryn was about to tell him that she didn’t like being called Ma’am, when she caught the look in his eyes. Bright blue and sparkling with intelligence and a good helping of mischief. He reminded her very much of a pilot she once knew. She flashed her death glare at him and out of the corner of her eye, saw him smirk. Trying not to smile, she turned to Myers and Icheb. They both shook their heads.

So on quick inventory, they had five combadges, one phaser and one utility knife. It wasn’t much but they had other things on their side. Kathryn’s override codes for a start and if they could get out of the brig then they were well on their way to regaining control of the ship. They’d only seen Evek and two other soldiers so far, but they needed to find out how many Cardassians they were up against.

Kathryn had a feeling that it wouldn’t be many. Evek was obviously insane and she imagined that maintaining the loyalty of a crew when you were barking mad was difficult, to say the least. She’d noticed the guards’ confusion on the bridge which meant they had the upper hand already.

She moved to the front of the cell and peered through the forcefield, the prickle of it made her hair stand on end from a foot away. The outer brig was empty and this just reinforced her opinion that there only a few Cardassians on board. An Oberth class ship could function with as few as five crew, but they were all needed at key stations. They certainly wouldn’t be expecting them to escape.

What Evek didn’t know was that all Starfleet vessels, no matter what class or configuration, had a master code that was known to line officers of Captains and above. She’d used it only once before when they’d encountered the Omega molecule, but it was going to get them out of the brig and hopefully back to the Bell before there was any bloodshed.

Kathryn spoke quietly. “Computer. This is Admiral Kathryn Janeway, access secured voice recognition program.”

_“Program accessed and voice print confirmed.”_

“Computer, on my mark, lower the forcefield in Brig one, but do not show alerts on any consoles. Janeway, one one five three red. Clearance level ten. Mark.”

The forcefield fizzled out of existence and Kathryn ushered the cadets through. She accessed the brig computer terminal, while the cadets armed themselves with phasers and tricorders from the brig’s weapons locker. “Damn. I can’t lower the shields. Evek must have them isolated through the bridge controls.”

Kathryn bit at her lower lip, thinking fast. She didn’t want to have to fight her way out. Not with four inexperienced teenagers to worry about. But there was nothing else to be done. They weren’t going to recapture the ship by just sitting here in the brig.

According to sensors there were eight Cardassians on board. Three in Engineering, two on the bridge, one of whom would be Evek, and three in the shuttle bay.

Now that she knew where the Cardassians were situated and she and the cadets were now equipped with tricorders, it was time to make it as difficult as possible for the kidnappers to find them. “Computer, disable internal sensors.”

_“Internal sensors disabled.”_ Yes.

She turned to the cadets and took the phaser rifle that Henderson passed to her. “All right this is what we’ll do. Icheb and Henderson, I want you to make your way to engineering and Myers and Tiror, you make your way to the shuttle bay. Set your weapons on kill.”

The cadets all looked at her in shock.

She shook her head. “Cardassians only have lethal settings on their rifles. This is a kill or be killed situation. I can’t stress that more forcefully. Don’t hesitate, just shoot and we’ll worry about the rest later. Can you do this?”

There were nods all around. “Right. Sabotage as many systems as you can on the way. We have to stop Evek from moving the ship away from here. Find ways of making their lives as difficult as possible. Once you are in position, contact me. Hopefully I’ll have control of the bridge by then and we’ll try to beam the Cardassians to the brig, but remember if you run into any trouble, shoot first and ask questions later. Are you ready to go.”

Again there were nods all around and they scooted into the Jeffries tube one after the other. Kathryn gave Icheb and Henderson a nod as they peeled off and headed towards engineering. She wished Myers and Tiror luck as they headed towards the shuttle bay. Kathryn then began the long climb to the bridge.

Icheb tapped Henderson on the back and pointed to a panel on the wall. “This is a major subsystem junction. Help me here.”

Together they pulled the panel free and stared at the spaghetti of fibre optic cabling, relays and data chips. Henderson handed him his utility knife and Icheb set to work. Henderson sat back and watched in awe as his friend shuffled the data chips and rerouted the optic cabling. “What are you doing there, Itchy?”

“I am attempting to scramble the navigation controls and the comm system. If we could get to a larger junction, I might even be able to disable weapons but this will have to do for now.”

Henderson pointed to a bright orange cable. “What’s that?”

“That is the waste water regulator.”

“If we crossed that with the ventilation systems, would what I think would happen… happen?” He grinned at Icheb.

“If you mean would the air become fetid and foul, yes. But we would have to breathe it too.”

“Not if we aimed it specifically at the Cardies. Could we also send some of the waste water with it? I’m sure they’d love that.”

“As long as you explain to the Admiral, when we are finished, that this was your idea, not mine.”

Henderson grinned. “I’ll be only too happy to take the blame. Come on Itchy, let’s do it.”

Together they cobbled the waste water system to the ventilation system on the bridge. They’d successfully scrambled navigation and comm systems and satisfied with their handiwork, Icheb and Henderson slammed the cover back on the junction and continued on their way.

“I wonder what Hank and Llias are up to? You know it was Hank that turned S’tevek’s sonic shower into a mud bath.”

“I thought that was you.”

“No, I wish I’d thought of it. He’s a cagey one, that Myers.”

“Indeed.”

After five more minutes of crawling they found themselves at the engineering hatch. They positioned themselves on either side of the tube and Icheb tapped his combadge and whispered. “Icheb to Admiral Janeway. We are in position.”

_“Well done, Icheb. Standby.”_

“Aye, Admiral, standing by.”

Myers and Tiror were almost at the cargo bay. Their trip had been just as successful. They’d erected forcefields in front of all the turbo lifts and programmed the replicators to only produce foam if activated.

They were also in position, in the cargo bay Jeffries tube, waiting for word from the Admiral.

Kathryn sat panting, on the inside of the bridge Jeffries tube, after her eight deck climb. She wasn’t as young as she used to be and sitting behind a desk for the last twelve months hadn’t done her any favours either. It was going to be straight onto the treadmill when she got home. Home. Her mind wandered for a split second and then snapped back to the here and now. Opening her tricorder she triangulated the position of the two Cardassians on the bridge. One was at the Tactical station and one was in the centre of the command deck. She assumed that was Evek. The tube was situated behind the Ops station, out of line of site of both aliens.

She took a minute or two to gather her strength, setting her phaser rifle to the highest stun setting, and then she quietly opened the hatch and slithered out onto the bridge.

Icheb, while awaiting word from the Admiral, sat with his tricorder pointed towards the closed hatch. Henderson frowned and nodded towards the instrument. Icheb showed him the readout. It showed all the Cardassians and where they were. Icheb leaned close and whispered. “With internal sensors offline the transporter’s targeting scanners are not functional, but if I can get to a console and upload this information, we can transport them to the brig and avoid a confrontation.”

Henderson was suitably impressed. He wasn’t keen on a fire fight with veteran Cardassian soldiers. On the academy range he was considered a good shot, but shooting another living being was another thing all together. But if he had to… he hoisted his phaser rifle a little higher and checked the settings one more time. The waiting was the hardest part.

Kathryn flattened herself against the Ops console and peered around the corner. Yes, there was one Cardassian at the Tactical station. She couldn’t see Evek but would have to take an educated guess and fire on the move. She took a couple of steadying breaths and then screwed up her nose. What the hell was that stench?

She heard Evek bellow. “Clear the ventilation system now. It smells like a garbage scow in here. Federation animals.”

There was a moment’s pause and then the Cardassian at Tactical spoke. “I cannot flush the system there seems to be something blocking it.”

“Well look, you useless, ratunka!”

Kathryn watched as the hapless guard opened one of the vents only to have gallons of putrid waste water pour all over him. Evek roared and Kathryn cringed. She had a strong suspicion that Bradley Henderson had something to do with that. The guard raced to the replicator only to have it foam and froth in front of him. Evek was becoming even more enraged. “Get out of here, you fool.”

Marching towards the turbo lift with as much dignity as he could muster, while coated in sewage, the guard bounced off an invisible forcefield and hit the ground with a thud. Her cadets had been busy.

The guard was dazed and Kathryn took this moment to leap from her hiding place and stun him. She took aim at Evek, but he was too quick. He moved behind the helm and fired in her direction.

Alarm klaxons sounded with the start of phaser fire and the cadets in both Jeffries tubes looked at one another. This was probably their chance to sneak out of the tubes while the guards were preoccupied with alarms. Icheb looked to Henderson and gave a nod. They were supposed to wait for the Admiral’s word, but from the scans it looked like she was busy enough on the bridge. Icheb tapped his combadge. “Icheb to Myers. Are you in position?”

“Yes.”

“If it is possible, disarm the Cardassians, I intend to beam them to the brig. On my mark. Now.”

In the cargo bay, Myers and Tiror climbed from the Jeffries tube on the upper landing and pointed their phasers at the Cardassians on the lower level. “Don’t move or we’ll shoot. Drop your weapons.”

The two cadets had their rifles trained on the three surprised guards. One of the guards looked up at them and laughed. He directed his words at Tiror. “They’re children. Put that down before you hurt yourself, little one.” He raised his phaser but before he could even aim, Tiror shot the weapon from his hand. The guard yelped and hugged his damaged hand to his chest.

“We said drop your weapons. The next shot will be a little further to the right and my face will be that last thing that you see in this life.” She hoisted her rifle as a threat and the other guards dropped their phasers. Myers tapped his combadge. “Whenever you get the urge, Icheb.”

Icheb and Henderson had their three guards rounded up nicely and, while Henderson trained his rifle on all three, Icheb tied his tricorder into the main console in engineering and they watched, with great satisfaction, as the aliens disappeared in a shimmer of blue.

“Computer give me a visual display of the brig.” The console came to life and there they all were – six Cardassian guards, all unhappily ensconced in the brig. Henderson grinned.

* * *

Chakotay spoke quietly to his crew. He didn’t want to alarm them anymore than they were. Peter’s had already relayed the information on Evek and unfortunately the incident now made more sense.

Evek had been captain of the Vetar, the ship that had chased Chakotay into the Badlands just before they’d been taken by the Caretaker.

Evek’s only surviving son had been killed in the pursuit when a plasma storm had damaged the port blade of his vessel. Evek had lived with the lust for revenge, festering inside him, for all these years. His wife had died, apparently languishing after the loss of their youngest son. The man had nothing to live for but to fulfil his promise of revenge.

This made Evek an unstoppable force. No negotiator would be able to reach him. The only outcome that Chakotay could foresee was one of bloodshed and he prayed that it wasn’t Kathryn’s or any of the young cadets in their charge.

He’d sent all off duty cadets to their quarters, under the supervision of the senior cadets. The last thing he needed was a panic on his hands. Raue and N’Bor were manning stations on the bridge, and Avery and Peters were still at their stations. They’d both shown a great deal of grit and had asked to stay at their posts.

They’d received word from Starfleet that the Titan was on its way, but it would be another two hours before it arrived at the Centauri system. Command had sent orders that they were to do nothing to provoke Evek. With a ship full of cadets, there was to be no aggressive action taken. The Cardassians had been notified but they wanted nothing to do with the negotiations. Evek was acting on his own and the Cardassians had cut him loose. He was Starfleet’s problem now.

All Chakotay wanted to do was to beam over to the Yukawa with a phaser rifle and blow the bastard to smithereens, but his duty was to his students and their safety. Evek would seem like a walk in the park if Kathryn got wind of the fact that he’d endangered the students to rescue her. So, following orders, albeit reluctantly, he’d backed the Bell away from the hijacked ship and prayed that the Titan would get here in time.

Suddenly Avery yelled. “Commander, there’s phaser fire on the Yukawa. On the bridge.”

“What have we got N’Bor? Can you tell who it is?” As if he didn’t know.

“All I can tell you, Chakotay is that there are two Cardassians and one human on the Bridge and they’re exchanging fire.”

“Damn it, Kathryn.” He muttered under his breath. “Can you get a lock on the others?”

“Not yet. The shields are still up, but… that’s odd.” Avery looked up, bewildered. “The other Cardassian bio signatures are all on deck nine. It looks like they’re in the brig.”

“Have you been able to get through those shields yet?”

“No Sir, it’s impossible.” Chakotay gritted his teeth. “But I might have another way in. For some reason the ventilation shafts are open to the waste water system. The waste outlet is in the undercarriage of the ship in an area where there is minimal shielding. If we aimed an anti proton burst at that area of the ship and weakened the shields some more, I could try and thread a transporter signal through, but it’s dicey.”

Chakotay turned and snapped. “Do it. Try to get a lock on the Admiral, but don’t transport unless I give the word.”

“Aye, Sir.”

Chakotay turned back to the young man. “And Avery.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good work.”

Selwyn Avery gave Chakotay a quick grin. “Thank you, Sir.” Then he set to work.

* * *

Icheb tried to lower the shields but they were still tied into the bridge systems

They would just have to go to the bridge. “Icheb to Myers and Tiror. Meet us in turbo lift one.”

_“There are forcefields in place in front of all the turbo lifts. Can you lower them from there, Icheb?”_

Icheb checked the console and tapped a few buttons. “The forcefields have been lowered. An interesting tactical ploy, Llias.”

_“Thanks Itchy. See you soon.”_

Icheb and Henderson ran out the door of Engineering and into the lift. It opened on deck five and Myers and Tiror jumped through the doors. The cadets all looked at one another.

Icheb tapped his combadge. “Icheb to Admiral Janeway. The guards are in the brig. We’re on our way.”

_“I’m under fire on the bridge, Icheb. Stay away from here. That’s an order.”_

They could hear Evek’s enraged bellow over the comm. “I’ll kill you.” Then there was silence.

“Computer, halt lift.” Henderson turned to his friends. “She didn’t say anything about not going to other parts of the ship. Any ideas anyone?”

There was expectant silence as several seconds ticked by and then Icheb’s eyes opened wide. “Let’s get to sickbay. I know what we can do. The Doctor used this idea on the Prometheus. I read the logs, I should have thought of it sooner.”

The four cadets ran through the doors of sickbay and Icheb called out. “Neurozine is what we need. There should be some canisters in the stores cabinet.”

Tiror called back. “Got them.”

“Bring them here Llias. We have to get them into the ventilation system.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“Hank and Brad, place the canisters in the vent in the corridor and open the valves. Then get back here straight away.”

Myers and Henderson ran out the sickbay doors but were back in a matter of seconds. “Done.”

Icheb stared at the console for a moment and then started tapping at it frantically. “I have to simulate a ship wide biohazard. Computer, seal sickbay doors and isolate life support in this section.” Icheb’s fingers flew over the console and then with one last stab at the board, he stood back and looked up at his class mates. He hoped this worked but he had a terrible feeling that it would be too little too late for the Admiral. His look conveyed his distress.

Tiror Llias came to his side. “You’ve done everything you could, Icheb. I’m sure they’ll rescue us soon and if not, we’ll gone down fighting, like the Admiral. I’m proud of us.”

The four cadets all looked at one another and smiled. Brad Henderson slapped Icheb on the back. “This creams the Kobiashi Maru. Absolutely creams it. We should all be promoted straight to lieutenant. Hell, Icheb, you should get your own damned command.”

They all burst out laughing then, with nothing more they could do, found themselves somewhere to sit, and wait, for whatever came next.

* * *

Kathryn tucked and tried to roll as Evek launched himself at her, but the man was possessed and three times her size. He tackled her to the ground and punched her twice. She saw stars. Kicking the phaser from her grip, he hauled her to her feet and with his arm wrapped around her neck and her hands held tightly behind her, he dragged her towards the centre of the bridge. She couldn’t move, and struggling only made him tighten his hold on her neck. She could barely breathe as it was.

“Evek to Chakotay.”

The viewscreen came to life and Chakotay’s worried face appeared. Panic flashed in his eyes. “Let her go, Evek or so help me…”

Letting go of her hands, Evek pulled a knife from his waist band and brandished it in front of her. She clawed at the arm around her neck but it was of no use. “I want you to watch while I kill her slowly. Inch by inch.”

Evek grabbed her arms again and pulled her back against him, holding the knife to her throat.

Chakotay bellowed. “Evek, no!”

The knife began biting into the soft skin of Kathryn’s neck and then she felt the sting as it broke the skin. She tried not to move, but it was impossible. Evek was muttering. “This is for my son and my wife. Suffer as I have. Watch as the life bleeds from her onto my hands.”

She could see Chakotay fighting frantically to get to her. Jimmy Raue was holding him back and she could see the terrified faces of the cadets behind them. It was a horrific situation. She just wanted it to be quick, for her sake and those who were watching.

Breathing was becoming more difficult and her vision was getting blurry. She looked into Chakotay’s eyes and tried to convey to him all that she felt. All the love and longing but she knew that her eyes were filled with fear. For the first time in many years she had much to lose and the fates were playing a cruel hand yet again.

She didn’t want Chakotay to have to see this. It would destroy him. Life was too unkind.

Kathryn closed her eyes as the knife slide another inch. Blood, hot and sticky was trickling down her neck.

Chakotay was yelling. “Evek, don’t do this. Take me, for God’s sake. Don’t do this.”

Kathryn opened her eyes once more and looked directly at Chakotay.

She mouthed the words ‘I love you.’ and heard Chakotay’s scream of “Nooooo!” just before the knife slid further and her world faded to black.

In the instant that consciousness left her, a thought darted through her mind – death didn’t hurt as much as she imagined it would.

* * *

Chakotay was being held back by Raue as he tried to rush the viewscreen. Evek had Kathryn with a knife at her throat. Blood was pouring down the front of her uniform and counter to her silence there were whimpers and the sound of soft crying from the cadets on the bridge. It was a terrifying scene. She was brave and bold and courageous and didn’t cry out or whimper. She closed her eyes as the knife sliced into the skin of her throat and then she opened them again to fix them firmly on Chakotay’s.

It almost broke Raue’s heart when he saw her mouth the words. ‘I love you.’ just before Evek, his face caught in a grimace of evil, pulled the knife further along her neck. Chakotay bellowed at the Cardassian and then the Admiral slumped in his arms.

There were several gasps and Chakotay’s mumbled “No, no, no, no, please God, no.”

Then astoundingly, Evek with Kathryn in his arms, crumpled to the floor, out of sight of the viewscreen.

Chakotay swung around, tears streaming down his face and yelled at whoever was there. “What happened? Get them back.”

Selwyn Avery, as white as a sheet, with tears on his cheeks, was still manning the Ops station, and shifted the viewing scanner to show the bodies of both Kathryn and Evek on the floor of the Yukawa bridge. There was silence as everyone stared. No one knew quite what to say or do.

It was Peter’s who spoke. His whisper loud in the eerie silence. “She’s breathing. Commander, she’s breathing. She’s not dead. Look.”

Chakotay could barely stand but shrugged off Raue’s hands and staggered closer to the screen. Blood was still trickling from the wound in her neck and yes, she was breathing. A tidal wave of relief washed over him but the crisis wasn’t over yet. They still had to get her back before she bled to death and they had to find the cadets. He wiped his face and turned to his bridge crew. “N’Bor, where are the cadets?”

“They’re on deck four in the sick bay. There is an isolation field in place around the bay.”

“Are they conscious?”

“Yes, but the Cardassians in the brig are unconscious.”

Chakotay whispered under his breath. “Icheb.”

Filled with renewed energy Chakotay swung around. “N’Bor, bring us alongside the Yukawa. I want to be within metres of their hull. Avery when our shields brush up against the Yukawa’s get a reading of their shield frequency and match ours. If this works our shields should meld with theirs and we’ll be able to transport our crew to safety. Are you ready, Esek? Avery?” There were nods all around. “Open a shipwide channel.”

Peters gave Chakotay a nod. “Channel open.”

“This is Commander Chakotay to all personnel. We are about to attempt a rescue of our missing crew. The Cardassians are unconscious and no threat at present, but to effect the rescue we will be taking the Bell within metres of the Yukawa. Brace yourselves, it could get rough. Chakotay out.”

He looked at N’Bor. “Let’s do it.”

The dour looking Grazerite inched the Bell forward and after two minutes they were within a hundred metres of the other ship. It loomed large in the viewscreen and Chakotay could see the panelling and rivets on its hull’s surface. This was the moment of truth. “Hold on everyone.” The shields around both ships started to fizzle and spark. Chakotay turned to Avery. “The frequency, cadet?”

“Ummm, it’s fluctuating… just a bit longer, there… I’ve got it. I’m sending it through to Tactical.” Avery looked up at Peters.

Peters was busy inputting the data on his console as he spoke. “I’m remodulating our shields to the Yukawa’s frequency. That should do it, Commander.”

“Inch her forward, Lieutenant.”

They all held their breath as the ships came within inches of scraping hulls, but as the readouts showed it was a success. The shields had melded and now both ships were surrounded by a single shield. Chakotay turned to Raue. “Beam the Admiral to sickbay and Evek to the Yukawa brig.”

Chakotay waited, his eyes never leaving Raue. Jimmy looked up and smiled. “She’s in sickbay, the EMH has been activated, and her vitals are stable.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, he turned back to the viewscreen and tapped his combadge. “Chakotay to Icheb.”

_“Icheb here Commander.”_

“Are you all right?”

_“Yes, Commander. We are unharmed, but we cannot leave the sickbay. The ship is filled with Neurozine gas.”_

“We’re beaming you out now.”

Chakotay turned to Raue who gave a nod. “Locking on now.” In an instant, the four cadets appeared on the bridge.

Icheb stepped forward. “The Admiral is on the bridge, Commander. We couldn’t get to her…or rather, she ordered us to stay away.”

“Thank you, Icheb. We’ve beamed her over, she’s already in sickbay.” Chakotay desperately wanted to get down to there to be by her side, but there were priorities.

“Lieutenant N’Bor, back us away slowly from the Yukawa and Avery, remodulate the shields to their original frequency. Any word from the Titan?”

“Twenty minutes away, Commander. I’ve sent a brief report about what has happened.”

“Thank you, Commander Raue.” He held the fellow teacher’s eyes for a moment. It had been some afternoon. Taking one last deep breath, he shook himself and turned to Peters. “You might want to get some people up here to relieve you.”

Avery spoke up. “Ahh, Commander, if it is all right with you,” He glanced over at Peters. “Peters and I would like to stay at our posts until the Titan gets here? We’d like to see this through to the end, Sir.”

Chakotay nodded. “As you wish, Avery.”

He gave both young men a small smile, and then nodded towards Raue again. “Jimmy, you have the bridge. Keep your eyes and weapons trained on the Yukawa. I’ll be in sickbay.” Chakotay looked towards Icheb and his classmates. “You four, with me.”

Chakotay, Icheb, Hank Myers, Bradley Henderson and Tiror Llias made it to sickbay in record time. Chakotay strode through the doors and straight up to Kathryn’s bedside. He would relive the horror of this afternoon for the rest of his life. He’d thought he’d lost her. After all they’d been through and the many close calls they’d had in the Delta Quadrant, nothing had been as close as this, and it had happened here, in their own backyard where they were supposed to be safe. He still couldn’t quite believe it.

And it had been his fault, although he’d been the unwitting cause of Evek’s anger. It was going to take time to forgive himself and to get over this.

His musings were interrupted by an irritated harrumph. Chakotay looked up. The EMH Mark II was hovering over Kathryn and finally acknowledged Chakotay.

The blonde haired EMH, tossed his head and poke in sibilant clipped tones. “The Admiral will be fine. The Neurozine level in her blood is high, but not dangerously so and she will no doubt sleep for several hours. I have repaired her facial bruising and the wound to her neck. It was mostly superficial, just a few small blood vessels and minor musculature involvement. She was fortunate.”

Chakotay would have liked to argue that point. There wasn’t anything lucky about being taken hostage and having your throat cut, but he was too concerned about Kathryn to be bothered picking a fight with the holographic doctor. He picked up her hand and held it for a moment, aware that he had four inquisitive cadets standing behind him. He looked up at the Doctor again. “When you’re finished with the Admiral, these cadets need a check over.”

“Commander, we are fine.” Icheb stepped forward. “We were not injured in any way.”

Chakotay shook his head. “It’s procedure after any away mission. You’ll get used to it.” He glanced down at Kathryn again and then back at the four extraordinary young people there in front of him. “There will be commendations in all your files. You performed above and beyond the call of duty and the Admiral owes you her life. I, for one, am most grateful to you all. Well done.”

They were all standing at parade rest, but also excited and very pleased with themselves. Henderson leant forward slightly and looked at his friends. He grinned.

Chakotay forced himself not to smile. “But before you start your celebrations, you each have a medical to endure and then reports to write. I want to know exactly what happened on that ship. Every detail. As soon as possible.”

They all looked a bit crest fallen, but came to attention and snapped out their regulation. “Aye, Sir.”

“I have to get back to the bridge. Doctor, I want to be informed of any change in the Admiral’s condition. Any change, do you understand?”

“I speak several hundred languages and a myriad of dialects, of course I understand.”

Chakotay muttered through gritted teeth. “Thank you, Doctor.” How had they managed to make an EMH even more irritating than his predecessor?

With one last squeeze of Kathryn’s hand, he turned and left sickbay.

* * *

The Titan arrived, true to their word, twenty minutes later and took Evek, and his cohorts, into custody. They would be tried back at Starfleet and most likely extradited to Cardassia to face charges there. Cardassian justice was swift and brutal. Unlike the Federation, Cardassian criminals, once in custody, were considered guilty with little or no chance of proving their innocence. And even though there existed a form of public trial, once convicted it was rare for anyone to escape the death penalty. Evek’s future was sealed and he would never be able to harm Kathryn, or anyone again. For that, Chakotay was grateful.

He was now back in his quarters, sitting on his couch, and trying to come to terms with the events of the day. He’d just left Kathryn, or rather, the EMH had shooed him out of sickbay, insisting that he get some sleep. Kathryn was still unconscious and would be for at least another three or four hours. In truth he would have preferred to stay by her side but, short of having a stand up brawl with the EMH, he’d been forced to leave. He closed his eyes, trying to centre himself. Taking deep steadying breaths and trying to find that quiet peaceful place within him. His eyes snapped open. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Kathryn’s face and the sadness and fear in her eyes as the knife slid along her neck, and then everything went red.

He was a little ashamed of how he had handled the whole situation. All his training and self control had vanished when he’d seen Kathryn in the hands of that malevolent bastard. Not a terribly good role model for the young and impressionable cadets, but the conditions had been extreme. In hindsight, it gave credence to Kathryn’s adamant adherence to protocols and refusal to indulge in a relationship while they’d been in command of Voyager. It had been hard enough dealing with her unerring propensity for finding dangerous situations and landing feet first in the middle of them, with seemingly no concern for her own safety, without the added stress of being lovers as well as best friends. Her instincts had been right, again.

He heaved himself up off the couch and began pacing. Wil Riker, had beamed over as soon as the Titan had arrived and together they had gone over the cadets’ reports. They had both been enormously impressed with the ingenuity and courage of the four young students. They were a force to be reckoned with and would make a wonderful addition to any Starship crew. Chakotay had the feeling that when they finished their studies at the academy, plumb positions on the Titan, Enterprise or any ship of their choosing, would be waiting for them. He was pleased for them. They’d saved Kathryn and for that he would be forever in their debt.

The Titan hadn’t stayed. Taking the Yukawa in tow, they’d headed back to space dock within two hours. A shuttle had been sent out on their arrival and the bodies of the twelve Yukawa crew had been recovered from just the other side of Proxima III and taken back to Earth. Chakotay shook his head. What a senseless waste of life.

Skirting around the side of the couch, he stood in front of the viewport and looked out at the planet of Proxima II spinning lazily in space, oblivious to the near disaster that had played out only a few thousand kilometres from its door. Chakotay jolted away from the window and headed out the door.

He couldn’t stand it. It didn’t matter what the EMH said, he was going to sit by Kathryn’s side until she woke up. It was important for him, and for her, that he be the first person she saw when she woke. She’d thought she was dead. He’d seen it in her eyes and he wanted to be there so she’d know that she was safe and that no harm could come to her.

Barrelling through the doors, he ignored the EMH and his indignant look and took his seat by her bed once more. There must have been something about the set of his shoulders or the look on his face, because the EMH backed away and left him alone. Picking up her hand, he held it in his and whispered quietly to her, telling her that everything was going to be all right and that she was safe.

It was the early hours of the morning when she awoke. The Bell was now on course back to Earth, and as soon as Chakotay had made certain that the ship was safely on its way, he’d laid his head down on the pillow next to hers to doze lightly. He’d felt her squeeze his hand and jumping to his feet, he leaned over her and spoke to her quietly.

“Kathryn, can you hear me. Wake up, sweetheart. Kathryn, you’re fine. It’s time to wake up.”

Her eyelids fluttered for a moment and then she opened her eyes and looked at him, initially in disbelief and then, after quickly taking in the familiar surroundings of sickbay, with relief. Her voice was a rasping croak. “You’re an angel? Surely not.” And the corner of her mouth twitched into the beginnings of a smile.

Chakotay made a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh and hauled her into his arms. “Woman, I’m never letting you out of my sight again. Do you understand that? I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.”

“You and me both. The cadets? They’re safe?”

He knew they would be her first concern and he pulled away a little so he could see her face. “They’re fine, Kathryn. They seem to be able to look after themselves very well. You’ve trained them well. The Cardassians didn’t know what hit them.”

She smiled slowly and nodded. “They were amazing. They deserve commendations and I’m going to nominate them for a Starfleet Medal of Valour.”

“They deserve it, and more, as far as I’m concerned.”

Kathryn nodded and touched his cheek. Grimacing as she swallowed, she tried to clear her throat. “Can I have a glass of water?”

Chakotay turned to the EMH. “Can the Admiral have some water?”

“Yes, but small sips to begin with. Neurozine has been known to have some rather unfortunate side effects when inhaled in such large doses.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes and, with Chakotay’s help, sat up. Taking the glass from him, she had a few sips, and then swung her legs over the side of the biobed. “Doctor, when can I go back to my quarters?”

The EMH seemed to almost goose step to the bio bed. “When I tell you.”

Chakotay cringed, waiting for the inevitable backlash but Kathryn continued in a quiet but ‘brook no opposition’ tone. “Doctor, I would like to go back to my quarters now. I’m sure that you can monitor me just as effectively from there. You are only a site to site transport away and besides, I just want to sleep and I would be much more comfortable doing that in my quarters.”

The EMH looked like he was going to argue and then thought better of it. “Very well, Admiral Janeway. Your quarters it is, but you are not to leave them under any circumstances, is that understood?”

Chakotay and Kathryn looked at each other, surprised that he had agreed so easily.

“Don’t look so surprised, your EMH from Voyager left extensive notes in your file as to your contumacious and recalcitrant behaviour. I was prepared.”

With they’re mouths hanging open, they watched as the EMH pivoted and strode back into his office. He spun back around just before he entered and added haughtily. “I will not hesitate to beam you back here, Admiral if you don’t follow instructions. I am not as accommodating as your previous EMH.”

Kathryn caught Chakotay’s eye and nearly burst out laughing. She muttered under her breath. “Accommodating? Maybe not, but a hell of a lot more annoying.”

“I heard that.” The EMH’s voice came from the other end of sickbay.

Kathryn made a face. “Let’s get out of here before he sedates me again.”

Chakotay helped her down from the biobed and held her close. She felt so small and vulnerable in his arms, dressed only in a sickbay gown. “Computer, site to site transport for Admiral Janeway and Commander Chakotay to the Admiral’s quarters.”

The welcome tingle of the transporter engulfed them and they materialised in Kathryn’s living area. Chakotay pulled her closer and held her tight. Kathryn snuggled into his arms. It was good to be back. She mumbled something into his shoulder.

“What was that?” Chakotay kissed the top of her head and looked down at her.

“I said I need a coffee or maybe two.”

He chuckled. “Okay, let’s get you caffeined up, and then I think you’d better get to bed.” He led her over to the couch and sat her down. He ordered a pot of coffee and while that was materialising, he went into her bedroom and grabbed her dressing gown from the end of her bed. Kathryn took it from him, giving him a quick kiss of thanks and slipped it on as he poured their coffees. She accepted a cup and closing her eyes took a long sip accompanied by a grateful sigh.

Kathryn snuggled into his side and thought over the events of the day. “I felt a bit sorry for him, you know. He’d lost everyone he loved. It’s enough to break a man.” She looked up at Chakotay. The parallels were not lost on either of them.

“Yes, but revenge isn’t the answer. There is no peace in to be found in that, only more torment. This I know for a fact.” He tugged her close again and rubbed his cheek across the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her. It went a little way to calming his jangled and frayed nerves. “Do you want to talk about it, Kathryn?”

She shook her head. “Not just yet. What about you? Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head as well. “No. It’s all too vivid just at the moment. Too real. I need to get some distance between it and us. Does that make sense?”

“An astonishingly good deal of sense actually. Let’s just sit tonight and tomorrow we’ll do the reports and sort out the rest. But just one thing…”

“Hmmm.” He looked down at her.

Kathryn raised her hand and cupped the side of his face. “What happened today put my life into perspective in such a way that I have absolutely no doubt about what my priorities are. You, our life together, my family and the people I love are the most important things in my life and from now on, I’m going to regard the rest as just trimmings.” Her fingers were tracing the outlines of his face and lips. “Are you still available this weekend? I have a mother and sister who are dying to get reacquainted with you, and with me too. Kathryn is finally home.”

Chakotay kissed her gently. “I certainly am available. I think I pencilled you in for the next fifty years if I remember rightly.” Kathryn whacked him lightly on the arm. He laughed and continued. “As soon as we dock and get all the official business out of the way, we’ll head straight for Indiana.”

Kathryn reached up and pulled his head towards hers and their lips met again. This time her fingers wove through his hair and her mouth opened under his. With a groan he pulled her close against him and pressed his lips to hers.

Kathryn’s mind began to spin, the warmth of his lips, his taste, the feel of his body against hers and the strong arms holding her, were playing havoc with her self control. After the trauma of the day, all she wanted to do was stay in his arms forever and reaffirm what was real. She wanted to make love. Desperately.

There was an incessant beeping in the background and with a frown Kathryn reluctantly pulled away.

The pompous and condescending tones of the EMH shattered the moment. _“Admiral Janeway, I do not know what you are doing and I dare not speculate, but desist this instant or I shall beam you back here and keep you sedated until we reach Earth. Commander I expect you to adhere to the rules and not to the Admiral.”_

Kathryn narrowed her eyes and was about to verbally decompile his program, but Chakotay stepped in. “The Admiral is going to bed right now, Doctor and there will be no more excitement this evening.”

_“I am gratified to hear that Commander. I will be watching. Sickbay out.”_

Kathryn screwed up her face. “He’ll be watching? Ewww, well there’s a passion killer if ever there was one.”

Chakotay grinned. “Behave yourself. We’re in trouble already. Here, finish your coffee. Do you want something to eat?”

Kathryn shook her head. “No, thank you. I’ll follow the doctor’s advice on that issue. But I am tired. Will you stay for a while?”

Nodding, Chakotay stood and holding out his hand, helped her up from the couch. “Sure. Why don’t you go and have a shower. I’m just going to check the bridge, and then I’ll come back and tuck you in.”

Kathryn nodded. “Okay, but as soon as we’re home and the EMH is safely deactivated. We have some catching up to do.”

“Aye, aye, Admiral.” Chakotay grinned. Leaning over he pecked her quickly on the lips, turned and left.

With a sigh, Kathryn swung around and headed to the bathroom. It would take some time for the trauma of the day to fade, but she knew she had the perfect remedy and she was impatient to begin her cure.

Stepping close to the mirror she looked closely at her neck. There was just the slightest discolouration, a faint echo of a scar. A shudder went through her as she relived that moment and the look in Chakotay’s eyes. In that instant, as the knife has slid across her neck, it had all become clear. There would be no more excuses, no more need for distance or pretence. Her life was irrevocably joined to his and from this day on she wouldn’t ever doubt that. Running her finger along the faint scar she decided that it would be a reminder, a memento of what she could have lost, but didn’t. Her lucky charm.

Kathryn stepped under the soothing spray of the shower and let it wash away the anguish.

* * *

Kathryn stood on the veranda of the cabin looking out over the grey choppy water of the lake. They had arrived two days ago and it had been raining ever since. Not that Kathryn minded. It gave them a good excuse to be creative with various indoor activities. She smiled to herself… They were remarkably creative for a couple who were so out of practice.

Her mother had sent them packing a day after they’d arrived in Indiana. Starfleet had already informed her family of the incident on the Bell and, both her mother and sister, had been emotional wrecks, swinging between anger and relief in such quick succession that it had made Kathryn dizzy. In the end she’d sat them down and told them exactly what happened, allowing them to get some perspective on the incident and also so she could sing the praises of the young cadets that had saved her life.

She laughed to herself as she remembered the chaos of debarkation. As soon as the incident had been reported to Starfleet, the participating cadet’s parents had been informed and the shuttle station at headquarters had been filled with frantic mother’s and father’s waiting to find their offspring and be reassured of their safety. Chakotay had arranged for Myers, Henderson, Icheb, Tiror, Avery and Peters to stay back for a moment so Kathryn could say her goodbyes in private. She’d thanked them all and watched as they’d puffed up with pride.

They had all accepted her praise and gratitude with dignity, but Kathryn had to laugh as she shook Henderson’s hand. He’d pumped her hand enthusiastically and with a cheeky grin quipped. “Anytime you want sewage on your bridge, Admiral, you know who to call.”

She’d laughed and patted his shoulder. “I’ll keep that in mind, cadet.”

They were all to be awarded the Starfleet Medal of Valour and she’d watched with pride as they were gathered up by their parents, talking animatedly about their adventure. Chakotay had joined her, and following her gaze, smiled. “They’re going to be dining out on that one for years to come.”

She smiled. “And so they should. Are you ready? We’d better get going before my mother arrives and embarrasses us both.”

They’d beamed directly to Indiana from the shuttle station and into the loving arms of her family and friends.

Two strong arms stole around Kathryn’s shoulders from behind. “Still raining, huh?”

Kathryn nodded. “Yeah. Shucks.”

She could feel the rumble of Chakotay’s laugh through her back and he kissed her neck as she squirmed back against him. She sighed dramatically. “Oh, well, there’s always cards or Scrabble.”

Again he laughed and swung her around. “I’ll give you Scrabble.” And hoisted her up onto the railing and kissed her soundly.”

“This must be a different sort of Scrabble. I don’t know these rules, perhaps you’d best enlighten me.”

“My pleasure.”

He hooked his arm under her knees and lifted her from her perch and kicking the door open, he carried her through the opening and then kicked it shut behind him. Kathryn draped her arms around his neck and smiled as the door shut on the grey and miserable weather outside and they headed for the warmth and comfort of their bed.

Kathryn was briefly tempted to become philosophical and equate the closing of that door as a metaphor for her life, but before any deep or meaningful thoughts could gel, Chakotay tossed her on the bed, landed on top of her and, as his lips met hers, all thoughts, philosophical or not, vanished into thin air.

No metaphor was required for this.

Kathryn closed her eyes and smiled.

-fin-


End file.
